英语小幽默七则

Painkiller

Bob: Would you please give me some painkillers, Doctor?

Doctor: What’s wrong with you, boy?

Bob: Nothing. But I am afraid my Mum will get a headache when I give the school report to her.

止痛药

鲍勃:医生,能给我开点止痛药吗?

大夫:孩子,你哪里不舒服啦?

鲍勒:没什么｡不过,我怕我把成绩单给我妈妈时,她会头疼的｡

It’s Not My Fault

Father: Aren’t you ashamed of yourself, Victor? You’re the worst pupil in your class.

Victor: What’s that got to do with me? Is it my fault that the worst one was transferred to another school yesterday?

这不是我的错

父亲:维克多,你是班里最差的学生｡你不觉得害臊吗?

维克多:这能怨我吗?谁让昨天最差的那一个转到另一所学校去了呢?

Arctic Explorer

Boy: Daddy, when I grow up I want to be an Arctic Explorer.

Father: That’s great, Bill.

Boy: So, I want a dollar every day for an ice cream to get used to the cold.

北极探险家

男孩:爸爸,我长大要当北极探险家｡

爸爸:好极了,比尔｡

男孩:所以我想要你每天给我一元钱买冰淇淋吃,这样我就可以先适应寒冷了｡

An Unexpected Answer

Teacher: What do elephants have but no other animals have?

Pupil: Little elephants.

出乎意料的回答

老师:什么东西只有大象才有,其它动物没有?

学生:小象｡

Responsible

Teacher: I need a responsible child to fetch me something.

Lydia: I’ll go. Every time something happens at home, my dad says I’m responsible!

负责

老师:我需要一个负责的孩子去替我拿一些东西｡

莉迪亚:我去｡每次家里出了什么事,爸爸都说应该由我负责｡

Doreen’s Handwriting

Teacher: Doreen, I told you to write out this poem twenty times because your handwriting is so bad, and you’ve only written it out seventeen times.

Doreen: My arithmetic is bad as well, Miss...

多琳的书法

老师:多琳,我跟你说过把这篇诗抄写二十遍,因为你的字写得太糟糕了,可你却只写了十七遍｡

多琳:老师,我的算术也不好……

The Same Mother

Mary is one year younger than her brother, Davy. They are in the same class.

One day, their teacher asks them to write a composition named “My Mother”.After he finishes it, Davy lets his sister copy it. The teacher finds their compositions are the same. He asks them why. Mary explains quickly, “Because we have the same mother.”

同一个母亲

玛丽比哥哥戴维小一岁,她和哥哥同班｡

一天， 老师给他们布置一篇作文,题目是“我的母亲”｡戴维写好后让妹妹照抄｡老师发现他们的作文完全一样,就问他们怎么回事｡玛丽赶快解释说:“因为我们有同一个母亲啊｡”