开放式主题作文

【试题呈现】

请根据以下歌词，以“Hero”为主题写一篇英语短文。

Hero

There’s a hero...

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know

Will melt away

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears inside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you will finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

注意：①无须写标题；

②除诗歌外，文体不限；

③内容必须结合你生活中的一个事例；

④词数为120左右，如引用提示语，则不计入总词数。

【审题谋篇】

这是美国歌手Maria Carey演唱的一首充满力量和鼓舞精神的抒情歌曲的一部分。中文歌词如下：

有一位英雄

如果你深入自己的灵魂

你所经历的痛苦将随之消散

会有一位英雄向你走来

带着继续奋斗的力量

你会把恐惧抛开

你知道自己能挺过来

当你感到希望似乎破灭

审视自己，保持坚强

最终你将明白

英雄气魄就在你身上

通过分析歌词大意，我们不难找到文章的主旨就在最后一句：英雄气魄就在你身上。歌词中所展现出来的不畏困难、保持坚强、继续奋斗的精神就是英雄气魄。

这种文章通常采取引题、记叙、总结的三段式。把握了主旨后，就可以谋篇布局了。第一段提出在日常生活中难免遇到困难，不畏惧困难，保持坚强，迎难而上，继续奋斗才是正确的人生态度。第二段举自己生活中的一个相关事例。第三段写透过这个事例，你所得到的启示，再次点明主题，首尾呼应。

习作一

As an old saying goes， where there is a will， there is a success. That is to say， when you feel like hope is gone， you should look inside yourself and be strong. At length， you will succeed with the help of the hero lying in you.

There was once a time when I was weak in my math. Having failed in searval times in a row， I almost broken down. Upset and anxious， I couldn’t concentrate on my study. It was my head teacher that helped me realize that with a strong will in my heart， I can survive everything. So I followed her advice and held on， and I got through it finally.

So from what I have experienced you can see， success belongs to who are possessed of a strong will. Only when you are strong can you see the hero inside you and walk to the success.

点评 这是一篇中档习作，其优点是：

1. 文章中心明确，条理清楚，逻辑性强。作者考试屡次失败，深受打击，无法静下心学习。在班主任的鼓励下意识到坚持的重要性，最终获得成功。

2. 运用了一些好的短语。如at length（最终）， in a row（连续地）， break down（崩溃），hold on（坚持），be possessed of（具有）。

3. 运用了多样化的高级句式。如As an old saying goes； 分词作状语Having failed...； 形容词作状语Upset and anxious； 强调句型It was my head teacher that helped me...； 倒装句Only when you are strong can you...。

不足之处是：

1. 单词拼写错误。如searval， broken应为several， broke.

2. 词句表达错误。如Where there is a will， there is a success.应为Where there is a will， there is a way； Having failed in several times in a row中，介词in后面应该加上宾语the math exams；

I got though it finally此处it指代不明，应该写清楚：I got through my math exam finally； success belongs to who are possessed of a strong will中，who引导的定语从句缺少先行词，应该在who前面加上those.

3. 中间一段有些空洞。可以适当增加自己如何坚持付诸实际行动学好数学的细节。这样内容会更加充实。

习作二

There are always obstacles getting in the way in our daily life. In most cases， we tend to feel blue and discouraged. However， whatever difficulties we might be faced with， what counts most for us is to be strong to carry on.

Take me as an example. When I was aged 8， riding a bicycle as a proud thing among my fellows， so I persuaded my parents to buy one for me. Seeing my fellows riding skillfully on the playground， I couldn’t wait to join them. Initially， I took it for granted that I would get the hang of it in no time. Only when I fell off the bike once and again did I realize that it was not as easy a job as I imagined. Despite the fact that my fellows laughed at me for my awkwardness， I didn’t shed a tear. Instead， I carried on practicing riding it whenever I found the time determined to demonstrate my ability to them. Eventually， I succeeded in having a good command of it within a week， which gave my fellows a big shock.

As an old saying goes， “Nothing is difficult in the world if you set your mind into it.” From my perspective， getting rid of difficulties is not a tough thing. What matters most is to own a persistent heart. Confronted with obstacles， by no means can we have them holding back our footsteps. It is by holding on that we find ourselves on the way to success.

点评 这是一篇高档习作，本文有以下优点：

1. 文章内容具体，中心突出，语言流畅。作者开始学骑自行车时碰到困难，遭到伙伴的嘲笑。然而他没有放弃，坚持不懈地练习，最终学会了骑自行车。

2. 运用了大量高级词汇和短语。如obstacle， count， eventually， demonstrate tend to， feel blue， be faced with， can’t wait to do something， take it for granted that...， get the hang of， in no time， once and again， shed a tear， have a good command of， from my perspective， get rid of， be confronted with， by no means， hold back， hold on.

3. 运用了多样化的高级句型。

Whatever difficulties we might be faced with， ...（让步状语从句）

Seeing my fellows riding skillfully on the playground， ... （现在分词作状语）

Only when I fell off the bike once and again did I realize ... （倒装句）

Despite the fact that ... （同位语从句）

... which gave my fellows a big shock. （非限制性定语从句）

What matters most is to ... （主语从句）

Confronted with ... （过去分词转化来的形容词短语作状语）

... ， by no means can we ... （倒装句）

It is by holding on that ... （强调句型）

4. 过渡语的使用使得行文流畅自然。如however， take me as an example， initially， instead， eventually.

【拓展语料】

相关词汇：

be persistent 坚持不懈的

letdown 让某人失望

to be honest 老实说

to make matters worse 更糟糕的是

make a big difference to my life 对我的生活产生了很大的影响

give in to the illness 屈服于疾病

turn out to be... 结果

result in 导致

overcome the fear 克服恐惧

be in despair 感到绝望

much to my delight 让我非常高兴的是

live up to one’s expectations 不辜负某人的期望

to my relief 让我欣慰的是

look down upon轻视某人

相关语句：

1. Exhausted as I was， I held on and finished the 800-meter race at length.

2. So heartbroken was I at that time that I felt like doing nothing.

3. As time goes by， we have reached the point where our life may change in a different direction.

4. It’s universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a strong will can be referred to as a hero.

5. If I hadn’t possessed the strong will， I couldn’t have made it.

6. I found it almost impossible for me to catch up with others.

7. It is the hero lying in me that gives me strength.

8. As long as we can put up with the hard time and spare no effort to get over difficulties， we are true heroes.

9. Driven by the desire to succeed， I achieved what I had expected eventually.

10. Looking back， it’s amazing that I should have made such rapid progress.

11. Never should we neglect the truth that there is a hero lying in each of us.

12. Judging from my own experiences， we can safely draw the conclusion that every one of us can be a hero.

13. Not only did I do endless homework every day but I also stayed up for the exams one after another.

14. Never have I been caught in such a desperate situation before.

15. To sum up， hard times make heroes.

16. In the end， owing to what my father had done， I recovered in no time and became more confident.

17. Only when you have trouble and finally struggle to your feet will you realize that there is a hero in your heart.

18. Next time the thought of giving up occurs to you， do wake up the hero inside.

19. What we should do is to discover our own heroes and then talk them into fighting for us.

20. I realized that it was only by working hard that I can succeed in getting good grades.

21. Reflecting on Liu Wei’s example， we can see that perseverance is of great significance.

22. Feeling so depressed， I couldn’t focus my attention on what the teachers say in class.

23. Exhausted and anxious， I thought I didn’t have the talent for study.

24. Under no circumstances should we do anything with a negative attitude.

25. As is often the case， a rainbow will turn up after a storm.

26. It is for lack of courage to go ahead that we can’t defeat difficulties.

27. Only if you believe in yourself and stay strong can you accomplish your dream.

28. Not being good at playing basketball at first ， I was often defeated by others.

29. It is typical of each of us to go through thick and thin in our life.

30. I am firmly convinced that as long as you keep strong and make every effort you can be your own hero.