建议信写作点拨

【品味原题】

假如你是李华，刚收到美国笔友的来信，信中说：前不久在公共场合因为一件小事情而对朋友大声吼叫，使得朋友很生气，导致双方关系破裂。他为此感到后悔和伤心，请你写一封回信，指出道歉的方式，并提出有助于挽回友谊的建议。

注意： 1. 词数：100～120；

2.可适当增添细节，以使文章连贯。 Dear John，

I’m sorry to learn that you may lose your best friend for what you have done to him.

Best wishes to you!

Yours sincerely，

Li Hua

【写作指导】

1. 审文体

这是书信类的应用文书面表达。题目要求写回信解答笔友的问题，并向笔友提出建议，属于一般的私人信件。由于该题已经给出回信格式，应考虑到这不是考查的要点之一，关键是如何提出合理化建议。

2. 审要点

回信应该分为三段。

（1） 第一段根据来信提炼出John所面临的困扰，并提出乐意帮忙。（题目已给出）

（2） 第二段针对信件中John的困扰给出合理化建议。可列三个要点：

① 承认错误并请求Dave的原谅；

② 道歉方式一：保证不再为小事乱发脾气；

③ 道歉方式二：赠送礼物，争取原谅。

（3） 第三段提出希望，表达祝愿，可列两个要点：

① 今后与同学相处的方法：以诚待人，互相帮助，深入沟通；

② 希望建议对John挽回友谊有所帮助。

3. 审时态

本文就如何挽回John和Dave之间的友谊，提出可行性建议。在描述John与Dave之间存在的问题时应使用一般过去时，而在提出建议，如何挽回友谊部分，应该用一般现在时或一般将来时。

【学生习作】

Dear John，

I’m sorry to learn that you may lose your best friend for what you have done to him. Here is some advice on how to get back the friendship between you and David.

First of all，you should admit your mistake and apologize to him for having shouted at him. It’s very necessary. Because it may①make him to feel embarrassed. What’s more，you should swear that you won’t shout at him again. If you don’t agree with him on certain matter，don’t argue but discuss with him because it’s useless arguing with others. You should apologize to him rather than argue with him. Last but not least，you can give him a small

gift to please him. ②The moment he will see the gift，he won’t be angry any more.

As far as I’m concerned， ③only by doing these you can get back your friendship. I hope my advice is helpful to you.

Best wishes to you!

Yours sincerely，

Li Hua

1. 总评

（1） 该文章要点齐全，紧扣主题，结构紧凑，比较流畅地给出了合情合理且具有说服力的建议，是一篇较好的文章。

（2） 文章善于运用连接过渡词使文章结构层次清晰，过渡自然。如使用“first of all； what’s more; last but not least; as far as I’m concerned” 等词语来连接文章的句子和段落。

（3） 习作中还存在着一些可以改进的地方，文章的第二段中“What’s more，you should swear that you won’t shout at him again. If you don’t agree with him on certain matter，don’t argue but discuss with him because it’s useless arguing with others. You should apologize to him rather than argue with him.”和前面的语义重复。

2． 有错必改

① 使役动词make接省去to的不定式作宾补，故此处应改为“make him feel embarrassed”。

② The moment引导的时间状语从句，从句用一般现在时表将来，故应该把此处“The moment he will see the gift”改为“The moment he sees the gift”。

③ 在only置于句首的句子中，应使用部分倒装，故应把“only by doing these you can get back your friendship”中的“you can” 改成 “can you”。

【参考范文】

Dear John,

I’m sorry to learn that you may lose your best friend for what you have done to him. Here is some advice on how to get back the friendship between you and David.

First of all,you should admit your mistake and apologize to him for having shouted at him， because it may make him feel embarrassed. I think it’s very important to do so. What’s more，you should swear that you won’t shout at him again. If you don’t agree with him on certain matter，don’t argue but discuss with him. You should think more of others than of yourself. Last but not least，you can give him a small gift to please him. The moment he sees the gift，he won’t be angry any more.

As far as I’m concerned , true friends should believe in each other. If there is any misunderstandings，we should be the first to admit our mistakes and make an apology to them. Only by doing these can you get back your friendship. If you follow my advice immediately， I’m sure you will be friends again . I hope my advice is helpful to you .

Best wishes to you!

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

开心一刻

WhoWasFighting

Mother: Freddie，why is your face so red?

Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.

Mother: That’s a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?

Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.