母亲知道 第5期

翻译：白色声响

Not all women who have children are mothers. You can tell a true mother by the 1)penetrating look in her eye. A mother always knows everything about you. Absolutely everything.

I had such a mother. I could hide nothing from her. When I would walk into the house after pigging out on chocolate cake at the neighbor’s, she would glance at me and say, “How many times do I have to tell you not to eat between meals? No dessert for you tonight, young lady.”I looked at her, 2)dumbfounded: How could she see across the street and through the walls of my friend’s house, while she was cleaning the bathroom floor?

“How did you know that?”I asked, wiping 3)crumbs from my chin.

“A mother always knows,?she said. “I can read your forehead.”When I would race into the house from school, my eyes popping like a 4)choked fish, my mother would simply point to the bathroom door. “How did you know I had to go?”I asked.

My mother would 5)shrug. “I read it on your forehead.”Her amazing knowledge of things she could not see sharpened the farther away I was from home. I arrived at college my freshman year, 6)disoriented and 7)lonesome for the very place I had 8)denounced as a 9)suffocating prison a few hours before. As I settled down on the 10)dormitory bed for a good cry, my mother walked in the door.

“You forgot your pillow,”she said and handed me the very one I had used the night before.

I had done my own packing and had shut the door to my room when we left the house to drive to Ann Arbor. My mother was so 11)nearsighted she couldn’t see products on the supermarket shelf without her glasses. How could she possibly make out the print on a forehead sixty miles away? 12)Apparently, my mother could also hear the thoughts 13)rattling around in my brain, for she then answered my unspoken question.

“A mother always knows,”she said. “I also brought you some 14)brownies and Rosemary Clooney’s latest record release.”In my late twenties, I was in a terrible automobile accident. By that time, I had graduated from college and moved out of my mother’s house. One night my mother, who always 15)retired 16)promptly at ten with a 17)potboiler novel and a glass of warm milk, decided to watch the eleven o’clock news. She saw a 18)stretcher move across the screen, the body on it flat as a pile of magazines except for two 19)tremendous feet 20)protruding from the sheet. My mother sat up and shook my father awake.

“Get dressed,”she said. “We need to get to the hospital. That’s Lynn Ruth.”Time did not 21)diminish my mother’s amazing 22)intuition. In fact, it became sharper as I grew older. When I began my job search, she knew the results of my interview before I received the 23)rejection letters. After I’d moved across the country, I 24)sustained serious injuries from a 25)random violent 26)assault. I returned from the hospital with 27)stitches and 28)bruises all over my body. As I 29)staggered into my bedroom, the telephone rang. It was my mother.

“Lynn Ruth,”she said. “Tell me what happened.”

She knew.

Five years later my mother 30)succumbed to cancer. Although I called her every night, I did not go to her until my urge to see her suddenly 31)overwhelmed me. I flew home the next day. She was so small I could barely locate her among the pillows, sheets, and 32)instruments keeping her alive. She held out her 33)wasted arms to embrace me.

“Oh, Lynnie,”she whispered. “How did you guess how much I wanted you here?”“I read it on your forehead,”I said through my tears.

“In California?”asked my mother.

I realized then that all women have mothers, but only a few are lucky enough to become daughters in time. I hugged my mother and said, “A daughter always knows.”

并非一切有孩子的女人都是母亲。你可以从一个女人锐利的目光里辨别出她是不是一个真正的母亲。一个母亲总是知道她孩子的一切事情，而且绝对了如指掌。

我就有这样一位母亲。我从不能向她隐瞒任何事情。那时候我在邻居家大嚼巧克力蛋糕，回家的时候母亲总会瞥我一眼，然后说：“我得告诉你多少遍不要在饭间吃东西？小姐，今晚你没有甜点吃了。”

我看着她，哑口无言。母亲当时正在刷浴室的地板，她的目光怎么能越过大街，穿透我朋友家的墙壁呢？

“你是怎么知道的？”我问，一边擦掉下巴的蛋糕屑。

“妈妈就是知道。”她答道。“我能读懂你额头上写着的。”

我放学冲进家里，眼睛鼓鼓的就像条快要窒息的鱼。这时候母亲总会朝浴室门指一指。“你怎么知道我要去？”

母亲只是耸耸肩，“你的额头告诉我的。”

我离家越远，母亲这种令人惊叹的千里眼能力也越发敏锐。我上大学的第一年，正因数小时前才被我斥为令人窒息的监狱的地方而倍觉迷茫孤单。正当我在床上躺下准备好好哭一场的时候，母亲就走进门来。

“你忘记带你的枕头了。”她说着，递给我前一天晚上我还在用的那个枕头。

东西是我自己收拾的，离家的时候我把自己房间的门关上，然后开车去安阿伯市。母亲的近视很严重，要戴上眼镜才能看清超市货架上的商品。她怎么可能看得见60英里之外的我的额头上印着什么呢？显然，母亲还能听见我脑海中挥之不去的想法，因为她接下来又回答了我没有开口问她的问题。

“妈妈就是知道，”她说道。“我还给你带来了一些果仁巧克力蛋糕，还有萝丝玛丽・克鲁尼的最新专辑。”

在将近三十岁的时候，我遭遇了一场可怕的汽车事故。当时我已经大学毕业，也搬出了母亲的房子。有一天晚上，总是在十点钟准时拿着一本通俗小说和一杯热牛奶回房休息的母亲突然决定要看十一点钟的新闻。她看到荧幕上掠过一副担架，除了一对巨大的脚板从被单里突出来以外，上面躺着的那个人简直就扁平得像一叠杂志。母亲坐起来，把父亲摇醒。

“快把衣服穿上，”她说道，“我们得去趟医院。那个人是林恩・鲁思。”

时间的流逝并未减弱我母亲惊人的直觉。事实上，母亲的直觉反而随着我的成长变得更加敏锐。我开始找工作时，母亲在我收到拒绝信之前就已经知道我面试的结果。在我搬到美国西岸之后，曾遭遇意外的暴力袭击，并受了很重的伤。我从医院回来，带着缝合的伤口和满身的瘀青。就在我蹒跚地走进卧室时，电就响了起来。是母亲。

“林恩・鲁思，”她说，“告诉我怎么了。”

她知道我出事了。

五年后，母亲患上了癌症。虽然我每晚都给她打电话，但是直到某天我被那种非去见她不可的感觉淹没的时候，我才去看她。第二天我就坐飞机回家了。母亲的身躯很小，埋没在枕头、被单和一堆维持她生命的仪器里，我几乎找不到她。她伸出瘦弱的双臂拥抱我。

“噢，小林恩，”她轻轻地说道，“你怎么知道我有多么想见到你？”

“我从你的额头上读出来的。”我答道，眼眶里溢满了眼泪。

“在加利福尼亚也能知道？”母亲问。

那时，我忽然明白，所有女性都有母亲，但只有少数人有幸在有生之年成为女儿。我拥抱着母亲，说：“女儿总是知道。”