《闲人漫谈》译析

浮生长恨欢娱少，肯爱千金轻一笑。生活中难免有些不如意。在看过对自由的激烈追求与对城市的唏嘘感慨之后，是否分外需要一点机智幽默，获取几分轻松开怀呢？千金易得，一笑难求，也难怪日式吐槽和英式毒舌能够横扫世界了。听听懒散的“行家”如何将幽默通过朴实、直接的话语自然流露，跃然纸上。

本书收录了《闲人漫谈》中的14篇文章。以诙谐幽默的笔触，深入浅出地探讨了懒散、爱情、猫狗、装修等虚虚实实的14个话题，在旁征博引之中道出了作者这位“闲人”心中的所思所想。

借用作者的话，“要是从别人口中‘公众需求’这个角度来看，我似乎不该冒险把自己这个闲人的‘漫谈’当做精神食粮，奉献给地球上不同国度的英语读者。现在的读者都要求著作有改善现状，有所建树，提升档次的作用。可这本拙作真不能把一头牛给提起来。我不能真心诚意地推荐说拙作能发挥什么作用。我只能说，当你厌倦了阅读‘最优秀的100本读物’，不妨花半小时读读这书。它会给你别样的感受。”On Being Idle

Now， this is a subject on which I flatter myself I really am au faitl. The gentleman who， when I was young， bathed me at wisdom's font for nine guineas a term-no extras used to say he never knew a boy who could do less work in more time； and I remember my poor grandmother once incidentally observing， in the course of an instruction upon the use of the Prayer-book， that it was highly improbable that I should ever do much that I ought not to do， but that she felt convinced beyond a doubt that I should leave undone pretty well everything that I ought to do.

I am afraid I have somewhat belied half the dear old lady's prophecy. Heaven help me！ I have done a good many things that I ought not to have done， in spite of my laziness.But I have fully confirmed the accuracy of her judgment so far as neglecting much that I ought not to have neglected is concerned. ldling always has been my strong point. I take no credit to myself in the matter-it is a gift. Few possess it.There are plenty of lazy people and plenty of slow-coaches， but a genuine idler is a rarity. He is not a man who slouches about with his hands in his pockets. On the contrary， his most startling characteristic is that he is always intensely busy.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then， and a most exhausting one. ldleness， like kisses， to be sweet must be stolen.

Many years ago， when I was a young man， I was taken very ill ，I never could see myself that much was the matter with me， except that I had a beastly cold. But I suppose it was something very serious， for the doctor said that I ought to have come to him a month before， and that if it （whatever it was） had gone on for another week he would not have answered for the consequences. It is an extraordinary thing， but I never knew a doctor called into any case yet but what it transpired that another day's delay would have rendered cure hopeless. Our medical guide， philosopher， and friend is like the hero in a melodrama-he always comes upon the scene just， and only just， in the nick of time. It is Providence， that is what it is.

Well， as I was saying， I was very ill and was ordered to Buxton for a month， with strict injunctions to do nothinq what-ever all the while that I was there. "Rest is what you require，"said the doctor， "perfect rest."

It seemed a delightful prospect. "This man evidently understands my complaint，" said I， and I pictured to myself a glorious time-a four weeks' doice far niente with a dash of illness in it. Not too much illness， but just illness enough-just sufficient to give it the flavor of suffering and make it poetical.I should get up late， sip chocolate， and have my breakfast in slippers and a dressing-gown. I should lie out'in the garden in a hammock and read sentimental novels with a melancholy ending， until the books should fall from my listless hand， and I should recline there， dreamily gazing into the deep blue of the firmament，

watching the fleecy clouds floating like white sailed ships across its depths， and listening to the joyous song of the birds and the low rustling of the trees. Or， on becoming too weak to go out of doors， I should sit propped up with pillows at the open window of the ground-floor front， and look wasted and interesting， so that all the pretty girls would sigh as they passed by.

谈懒散

聊起懒散这个话题，我可以毫不谦虚地说，我真是个“行家”。小时候让我在圣水盘接受洗礼的那位先生每次收9畿尼，从不多要。这位先生过去常说，除了我以外，他还没见过哪个学生事儿没多干，时间倒多花不少。我还记得在学习如何使用祈祷书期间，我那可怜的奶奶不经意评论道，不该我做的事儿，我经常去做，的确非常不妥。但她也笃信，即便是该我做的事儿，我也照样碰也不碰。

我恐怕有意无意隐藏了亲爱的奶奶的另一半预言。真是上帝保佑！尽管懒，但我还是完成了许多不必由办的事儿。不过奶奶说我一堆该干的事儿不干这一点，还真的一语成谶了。懒散向来是我的强项，但我可不敢居功――这是种天赋，稀世的天赋。世上不缺懒骨头，也不缺慢性子，但生性疏懒的还真是稀有。双手往口袋一插，四处闲逛可不是这种人的行事风格。恰恰相反，成天忙得不可开交才是他们最显眼的特征。

想要彻底沉浸在懒散之中，手头一定得有好些活儿。要是没事儿可做，人闲着也没啥意思。虚度光阴不过打发了时间，最是累人。懒散好比香吻，偷来的才甜。

许多年前，还是年轻小伙儿的我经诊断患了重症――我自觉病得不重，只是患了场来势汹汹的感冒。但我觉着这病可不是闹着玩的，因为医生说了，我一个月前就该来看病，要是这病（管它啥病）再拖一周，他就说不准会有什么后果了。这真不可思议。我从没听说哪位医生遇到过这种再拖个一两天就无法医治的病例。医生――我们的医疗指导、哲学大师、良朋益友就好像情景剧当中的主人公那样，总在紧要关头方才登场，不早一分，不晚一秒。这是天意，就该如此。

嗯，话说回来，我病得很重。医生让我在巴克斯顿静养一个月，期间严令禁止任何事儿。“你需要休息，”医生说，“彻底的休息。”

前景貌似一片大好啊。“知我心者莫若君。”说罢，我眼前浮现出一段美好时光――连续四周“优哉游哉的生活”，掺杂着一丝病意。虽说病得不重，却恰到好处，静养中既尝到了病痛的滋味，又平添几分诗意。想必我能睡到日晒三竿，抿一口巧克力，再披着睡袍趿着拖鞋，享用早饭；想必我能躺在院子里的吊床上，品读言情小说，回味忧伤的结局，直至小说从我倦怠的手中滑落；想必我能斜倚在院子里，一边迷茫地凝望着深蓝色的苍穹，注视着羊毛般的云朵如同挂着白帆的小舟在空中漂浮，一边欣赏鸟儿欢快地歌唱，聆听风过树梢那沙沙的声响。要是我身子太虚弱，不能到室外去，我就堆些枕头，倚坐在底层敞开的临街大窗前面，摆出一副病恹恹的样子，惹人注目。这样路过的美人儿就都会为我叹息。