The Moment that I’m Most Proud of

中学时代记叙文写作是学生心中永远的痛！如何避免流水账似的记叙文？记叙如何做到有张有弛？美国中学生William Tan写的这篇记叙文“我最值得骄傲的时刻”讲述了他的排球队如何克服困难，艰难战胜强大的对手。让我们一起来看看他是如何将这么熟悉的一个话题写得既有趣而又张弛有度的，相信会对我们提高写作水平有所帮助。 One afternoon, I was sitting down in a chair in the Anaheim Convention Center. I began to watch the game in front of me because my team was going to play there next. I continued to observe the game, until a thought suddenly hit me. The team that we were playing next was Clovis. I knew that this time we had the chance to defeat them and stop their winning streak1. Never before

would hard work prove to become the proudest moment of my life.2 In the past, we had always lost to Clovis, so I knew this was going to be a difficult task. Knowing this, I started to become tense as my heart rate rapidly increased. The game was starting, so I took a few deep breaths to calm down. The moment the game started, I became nervous again. Then, I walked to the benches, hearing many sounds and voices echo across the convention center. Once I reached the benches, our coach said, “We have got to win this time. You know what happened to us last time right? Besides, they are not that hard of a team to beat. We took them to three last time.3 Okay now let’s have a cheer.” Before the game started, both of the teams greeted each other, and then they greeted the audience. Afterward, the battle began. Clovis started the serve4 with their best server, number 11. He struck the volleyball with the force of lightning, but luckily, the volleyball landed in the net.5 The ball was then rolled across the court to our team’s side. We served the ball back over, but they hit it back with a ferocious spike.6 Responding quickly to the situation, I dove7 towards the ball to save it. Suffering from a minor bruise, I stood up to see that we had won the first point.

单词卡片

1. winning streak: 连胜。

2. 努力拼搏从来没有像现在这一刻这样令我感到无比自豪。

3. 上一次我们一直打到了决胜局。该排球比赛是三局两胜制。

4. serve: （网球、排球等的）发球。

5. 他以迅雷不及掩耳之势击球，但幸运的是，球没有过网。

6. ferocious: 狂暴的，猛烈的；spike:（在网上）大力扣球。

7. dive: 过去式为dove，意思是“扑向，冲向”。

Afterward, we continued to score vital points in the game. Then, the course of the game changed, and Clovis got a stream of points. To help us back on track, the coach called a time out and discussed what we needed to fix, “We have to clean up our passes.8 They are getting free points off us every single play. We cannot let that happen. We are also missing our serves. What did we give? Five points? Come on, let’s pick this up.”9

Soon after, the game continued. Now that we had the coach’s advice, we started to pick up our game. We continued to score points, and we led the game by four points. Once it was game point, I became nervous again, as I watched my teammate, Ken, serve from the end line. The ball seemed to have floated forever in the air before it went over the net. Clovis then pummeled10 the ball back down on us, but we managed to spike the ball back over and win the first match. The second match was coming and there was no time

for celebration. After a quick side swap11 the second match started. Clovis took the lead for the first few points, but we quickly fought past them. The game was a close one and each team was fighting hard for points. I became

strangely nervous once I looked up at the score, which said, “5 to 4.”

In my mind, I screamed, “Ahh! We’d better make a larger lead.”

As the game progressed, Clovis gained a lead. Then, we gained a lead. Towards the end of the game, Clovis was dragging along our score, and we needed to finish the game. The score was 24 to 21, and our coach called a time out. The coach said, “We have got them where we want them to be. Let’s finish them now!”

I walked back on the court thinking, “This is our only chance to win it. We better make this serve.”Ken served the ball, and it barely made it over the net. Clovis pulled off a good pass and hit the ball over. My teammate, Taylor, dove and passed to Kevin. Kevin then made a set all the way from opposite to outside, so the other Kevin could hit.12 Clovis started to panic, and they quickly shot out a hit. Afterward, I passed the ball hastily to the setter, and he set it to the middle to finish the game. Our middle spiked the ball, which soared through the air, skimming the top of the net.13 The ball then started to drop towards the ground. I look towards the other team’s side, noticing that the ball was inches away from hitting the ground. Then, the ball dropped and hit the ground. We had won the game against Clovis. The team that had always beaten us in the past had finally met a miserable defeat against us.

Clovis was one of the teams that we have been close to defeating, but we never beat them because of our mistakes. In this game, we cut our mistakes and gained a few points out of that which helped us win the game. It felt great that our team had become progressively better each year and that we used what we learned to defeat Clovis. This was surely one of the proudest moments of my life.

单词卡片

8. clean up: 改掉不良行为，整顿；pass: 传球。此处意思是“调整好传球”。

9. 我们为此失掉了几分了？五分吧？加油！让我们调整心态，重整旗鼓！

10. pummel: 猛击。

11. side swap: 交换场地。

12. 随后，二传手凯文打了一个长传，将球从场地一侧传到了另一侧的界外，以便同名的另一位队友扣球；set: 二传。下文的setter即为“二传手”。

13. middle: （排球的）三号位球员，因为三号位是在场地前场中间的位置；skim: 掠过，擦过。