无所不知医生

翻译：芥子 Once upon a time there was a poor farmer named Crab who drove a 1)cord of wood into town with his two 2)oxen and sold the wood to a doctor for two 3)talers. When the farmer went inside to get his money, the doctor was just about to sit down to dinner, and the farmer admired the fine food and drink at the doctor’s table. His heart 4)yearned for something like that, and he thought how nice it would be if he were a doctor. He 5)lingered there awhile and finally asked if it was possible for someone like him to become a doctor.

“Of course,” said the doctor. “In no time at all.”

“What do I have to do?” asked the farmer.

“First, you must buy yourself an 6)ABC book, the kind with the picture of a rooster in it. Second, sell your 7)wagon and your two oxen, and buy some clothes and other things that doctors tend to need. Third, you must have a sign painted with the words ‘I am Doctor Know-All’ and nail it above your front door.”

The farmer did everything he was told, and when he had 8)doctored for some time but not very long, a rich and 9)mighty nobleman was 10)robbed of some money, and had heard about Doctor Know-All, who was living in such and such a village and would probably know where the money had gone. So the nobleman had his carriage 11)hitched up, drove out to the village, and 12)inquired at the farmer’s house whether he was Doctor Know-All.

Yes, that was he, the farmer answered. Then the nobleman asked Doctor Know-All to come with him and help him get back his stolen money. The farmer agreed, but added that Greta, his wife, had to come along too. The nobleman agreed. He offered them both a seat in his carriage, and they drove off together. When they came to the nobleman’s house, the table was already set, and Doctor Know-All was to eat with the lord, but he wanted his wife Greta to eat with them too. So they all sat down together at the table.

Now, when the first servant arrived with a dish of delicious food, the farmer 13)nudged his wife and said, “Greta, that was the first,” and he meant that that was the man with the first 14)course. But the servant thought he meant “that’s the first thief,” and since he really was the thief, he got scared and went out to tell his 15)accomplices, “The doctor knows everything. There’s trouble ahead. He said I was the first.”

The second servant did not even want to go in, but he had no choice. When he entered with his dish, the farmer nudged his wife and said, “Greta, that’s the second.” This servant too got scared and hurried out. The third 16)fared no better. Again the farmer said, “Greta, that’s the third.” The fourth had to carry in a covered dish, and the nobleman asked the doctor to 17)demonstrate his skill and guess what lay under the cover. Crabs were being served. When the farmer looked at the dish, he had no idea what to say. “Poor Crab!” he finally cried.

When the nobleman heard that, he 18)exclaimed, “There, he knows! I’m sure he must also know who has the money.”

The servant was frightened to death and 19)winked at the doctor to step outside for a moment. When he got outside, all four servants 20)confessed to him that they had stolen the money. They 21)proposed that he take charge of it and offered a large sum in addition if he would not 22)expose them. Otherwise, they would all be hanged. Then they led him to the place where they had hidden the money. The doctor was satisfied, went back inside, sat down at the table, and said, “Sir, now I want to look in my book to see where the money’s been hidden.”

In the meantime, the fifth servant had 23)crawled into the stove to see if he could hear what else the doctor knew. As the doctor sat there at the table, he opened his ABC book and turned the pages 24)back and forth looking for the rooster. Since he could not find it right away, he said, “I know you’re there. I’m 25)bound to find you.”

The servant in the stove thought that the doctor was talking about him, and he jumped out of the stove in 26)fright and said, “That man knows everything!”

Then Doctor Know-All showed the nobleman where the money was, but he did not 27)reveal who had stolen it. As a 28)reward, he received money from both sides and became a famous man.

从前有一个名叫克拉布的贫苦农民。他用自己的两头牛运了一捆木材进城，并把木材以两泰勒元的价钱卖给了一位医生。当农民进去拿钱的时候，医生正要坐下来吃晚餐，农民很羡慕医生餐桌上的美味佳肴。他的内心十分向往这样的东西，他想要是自己也是一名医生，那该多好啊。在那里徘徊了一会儿后，他终于开口问：像他这样的人，有没有可能成为医生。

“当然可以，”医生说。“马上就可以。”

“我需要做些什么呢？”农民问道。

“首先，你必须给自己买一本入门书，就是有一幅公鸡图画在上面的那种。第二，卖掉你的四轮马车和两头牛，然后去买些医生需要的衣服和其它东西。第三，你必须有一个写着‘我是无所不知医生’这几个字的牌子，而且还要把它钉在你的前门上。”

于是农民把所有事情都做了。他行医了一段不太长的时间之后，一个有权有势的贵族的钱被偷了。贵族听说有个无所不知医生住在某某村子里，可能会知道钱到底到哪里去了。于是这位贵族就给马车套上绳子，出发前往那个村子。到了农民房子前，贵族问他是不是无所不知医生。

是的，他就是，农民回答道。贵族叫无所不知医生跟他走，帮他找回被偷的钱。农民答应了，但他补充说他的妻子格里塔也必须一起去。贵族同意了。他让两人都坐上了马车，一起坐车回去。当他们来到贵族家的时候，餐桌已经摆好，无所不知医生马上要和贵族一起用餐，但他想让妻子格里塔和他们一起用餐。于是，他们三个人都在餐桌旁坐了下来。

这时，第一个仆人捧着第一道菜进来了。农民用肘推了推他的妻子说：“格里塔，那是第一个。”他是指那是上第一道菜的人。而仆人却以为他说“那是第一个贼”。又因为这个仆人确实是贼，所以他害怕起来，走出去跟他的同伙说：“那个医生什么事都知道。我们这回麻烦可大了，他说我是第一个。”

第二个仆人压根儿不想进去，但他没有选择的余地。当他捧着菜进去的时候，农民又用肘推了推他的妻子说：“格里塔，那是第二个。”这个仆人也非常害怕，匆匆离开了。第三个仆人的遭遇也好不了多少。农民又说：“格里塔，那是第三个。”第四个仆人捧着的是一道被盖起来的菜。贵族要医生展示一下他的技术，猜猜盖子下是什么东西。这道菜上的是蟹。农民看着盘子，不知道该说什么好，最后只好喊道：“可怜的克拉布（蟹）！”

贵族听到之后不由惊呼起来：“瞧，他都知道！我确信他一定知道钱在谁手里。”

仆人吓得半死，他向医生使了个眼色，示意让他出去一会儿。医生出去后，四个仆人向他招供说钱是他们偷的。他们提议把钱交给医生处理，而且如果他不告发他们，他们会另外再给他一笔巨款。不然的话，他们全都会被吊死。随后，他们把他带到钱藏起来的地方。医生很满意地回到屋里，在餐桌旁坐下。他说：“先生，现在我要查一查我的书，看看钱藏在哪里。”

与此同时，第五个仆人爬进炉子里想听听医生还知道些什么。医生坐在餐桌旁，翻开入门书，翻来翻去想找那只公鸡。因为他一时找不到，他便说：“我知道你在那里。我一定会把你找出来。”

炉子里的仆人以为医生指的是他，很惊慌地从炉子里跳出来，说：“那个人什么都知道！”

无所不知医生带贵族到藏钱的地方，但他没有揭穿是谁偷的。作为奖赏，他从两边都得到了钱，还成为了一位名人。