时间：2022-07-02 12:05:33
假定你是在校大学生李华（女），2014年青奥会将在你居住的地方举办，现在正在招募志愿者，你希望成为其中一员。请按要求用英文给组委会写一封申请信，内容应包括：
个人情况：年龄、性别、学历
个人条件：英语好（曾获得学校英语口语竞赛一等奖）、爱好体育、善于交往、性格开朗、乐于助人、熟悉本地情况
承诺：提供最佳服务
注意：
1. 词数：150左右。开头语已为你写好，不计入总词数。
2. 可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。
3. 生词：申请 apply（v.）, application（n.）；志愿者 volunteer。
Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is Li Hua. I would like to work as a volunteer for the 2014 YOG to be hold in our city.______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
【学生作文】
Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is Li Hua. I would like to work as a volunteer for the 2014 YOG to be held in our city.
I am a girl and I am 18-year-old. I am a college student. I am very interesting in English and fond of sports. I win the first prize in our school oral English competition. I get on well with others and ready to help others. I am considered to be outgoing by my classmates. As a local citizen, I have the advantage of familiar with things here. I am good at communicating with other people.
If I will be accepted as a volunteer, I must be fit for the position and try my best to serve the players who from all over the world well and make them satisfied.
Yours faithfully,
Li Hua
【教师点评】
本篇文章涵盖了规定的要点，基本完成了写作任务，但有较多的语言错误，反映出作者平时在语言积累方面做的还不够。另外，全文几乎没有衔接和连贯，文章读起来给人感觉到很生硬。故只能判为第三档作文（15分左右）。
【教师修改】
一、 语言运用错误
1. I am a girl and I am 18-year-old.
18-year-old只能充当定语，不能充当表语，须改成18 years old。
2. I am very interesting in English and fond of sports.
interesting 的含义为令人感兴趣的，主语通常为某物或某事。表示人对某事感兴趣应该用interested。这也是很过学生容易犯的错误。
3. I win the first prize in our school oral English competition.
本句叙述过去所发生的事情，应该用一般过去时态。win应该改成won。
4. I get on well with others and ready to help others.
本句用and并列两个谓语动词，故and后面应该添上am。
5. As a local citizen, I have the advantage of familiar with things here.
本句中have the advantage of 后面应该接名词或动名词，故familiar前面要加being。
6. If I will be accepted as a volunteer, I must be fit for the position and try my best to serve the players who from all over the world well and make them satisfied.
本句使用了if引导条件状语从句，条件句里不能用将来时态，故will be accepted应改成am accepted。must 不能用于对将来发生情况的推测，应使用am sure to。再者，players后面使用who引导的定语从句里缺少be动词are，或者直接将who去掉。
二、 句子结构松散，缺少连贯与过渡
I am a girl and I am 18-year-old. I am a college student.可以变成I am an 18-year-old girl，who is studying at a college. 这样就有效地使用了非限定性定语从句，提升了文章的档次。
介绍个人条件是可以适当地使用一些表示递进关系的连接词，如besides, in addition, what is more等，使得文章层次分明，结构紧凑。
三、 可以在文章中适当增添一些内容，使全文更自然
如第一段中可以添加相关内容，表明自己对青奥会的渴望，很容易打动对方。可多用一些表达情感的词语，比如eager等。
四、 写作步骤
1. 审素材的要点
本文是一篇材料作文，首先回顾开头所给出的中文提示，仔细推敲要求中所包含的主要意思，弄清写作内容。鉴于本文属于运用文体，故开头和结尾显得很重要，要给对方以耳目一新的感觉。同时能传达写信人的诚意。
2. 审人称和时态
很显然本文是一份申请信，故使用第一人称。这类文章主要是介绍自身情况，所以时态上以一般现在时态为主。如果涉及过去的经历，则须使用一般过去时态。偶尔涉及对未来的展望，则使用一般将来时态。
3. 拟定提纲，列出要点
在弄清写作答题思路之后，便可根据主要内容列出提纲，整理出内容要点。理清要点的目的就是为了能很好地把握文章的脉络，理清行文间的逻辑关系，以免出现要点遗漏。
4. 紧扣要点，扩写成文
在列出要点后，依据要点扩写成文。扩写时，可适当发挥，但切记不可随意乱写，要紧扣文字，适当描述，连贯通顺即可，不能把中文所提示的文字完全翻译成英语。在这一过程中应尽可能多地使用一些复合句，如定语从句、状语从句或名词性从句，以提升作文的档次。
5. 反复检查，修正错误
扩写成文后，应将写成的文章认真读一下，检查可能的语法错误，检查要点是否有遗漏，行文是否流畅，逻辑关联用语是否使用得体，字数是否符合要求。
修改后的文章
Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is Li Hua. I would like to work as a volunteer for the 2014 YOG to be held in our city.
I am an 18-year-old girl, who is studying at a college. As a college student, I am very interested in English and I’m also fond of sports. To tell the truth, I have always been looking forward to the 2014 YOG.
I am good at English and I once won the first prize in our school’s oral English competition. With the great fluency in English and the passion for sports, I suppose I am qualified to be a volunteer for the Games. Besides, I am good at communication，and I am considered to be an outgoing, reliable and helpful person at college. What’s more, I am familiar with the local conditions. I promise I will offer the best service to whoever participates in the Games.
Now I formally apply for the job and I sincerely hope I can be accepted.
Yours faithfully,
Li Hua