与人闲聊是技术活:如何与人闲聊?

How to Make Small

Talk with Others？

Actually making small talk doesn’t have to be painful， even if it’s with a boss you want to impress or blind date you want to see a lot more of！

Believe it or not， making small talk can be fun―even for quiet personality types. Making small talk is also an art that can be learned.

“So… how about this weather？” doesn’t often lead to stimulating dialogue （but don’t hesitate to use it if you’re desperate）. If you must make small talk about the weather， be specific. Say， “It’s freezing cold outside―have you ever heard that saying， ‘colder than ________’ ？ Where did that come from， anyway？” might work better， depending on who you’re talking to.

Making small talk can be difficult even if you’re an extrovert， but it’s especially difficult for introverts. Here are 10 tips for starting conversations with people you don’t know.

Keep up with current events. Make small talk about the news， sports， your community.

与时俱进，跟上时事。可以闲聊当下的新闻、（流行的）运动、你的社区。

Comment on a piece of clothing or accessory. Ask where it came from， what the significance is， and how much it cost （just kidding）. Making small talk is about being observant about people you don’t know well.

适度地赞扬对方的衣服或者小装饰品。可以问对方是哪儿买的、为什么买、多少钱（开个玩笑）之类的。闲聊就是善于观察你不熟悉的人。

Pay attention to what they’re saying. When you’re making small talk， follow up on phrases. For instance， if they say “they’re excellent”， ask “why” or “where you can get some”. If they mention that they’re exhausted， follow up on it. When you’re making small talk， remember that great conversations and good connections can be just around the corner.

善于倾听。在闲聊时，要时刻表现出对对方话题的关注和兴趣。举个例子吧，如果对方说“他们简直太棒了”，你就接着问“为什么”或者问“到哪儿才能尝试下这些很棒的东西”。如果对方说很累，同样地就“累”这个话题发挥下去。请记住，当你闲聊的时候，成功的交谈和良好关系的建立其实很简单，没你想得那么遥不可及。

Share an anecdote about your day. Did you lose your keys or find $10？ Maybe you ate at a new restaurant recently， or found a great new CD. Making small talk is about sharing the little things.

分享你生活中的一些琐碎小事。你丢了钥匙或捡到了10美金吗？或许是你最近发现一家新餐馆，或一张很棒的新CD之类。闲聊就是分享琐碎小事。

Ask what movies or books they’ve seen or read recently.Someone was once asked about that at a party. Admittedly， at first it felt contrived， but then they had a fantastic conversation about the book he was reading！ Making small talk is about trying new conversations.

问问对方近期看了什么电影或读了什么书。有人曾经在聚会上被问过类似的问题。无可否认，刚开始听到这个问题时觉得对方很做作，可接下来关于他最近在读的书的话题却让他们都意犹未尽，十分开心。闲聊就是要尝试新的话题。

Talk about TV. Share your favourite TV shows―whether it’s Oprah’s revelation or your favorite sitcom. Making small talk about pop culture is easy and fun.

一起聊聊电视剧。和对方分享你最喜欢的电视节目――无论是关于奥普拉脱口秀，抑或是你最喜欢的情景喜剧。闲聊一些流行文化是既轻松又有趣的。

Ask open-ended questions that require an explanation. For instance， “How are you？” isn’t as effective as “Whatever happened with you and ？ How were you dealing with？” （“ ” could be a business deal， family problem， or financial investment.） Remember that anything is a potential topic of conversation.You can even talk about how uncomfortable you are making small talk―and ask them how they do it.

问一些需要得到解释的开放性问题。例如：“你好吗？”就没有“你和 到底怎么了？你处理得怎么样了？”有效。（“ ”可以是生意合作、家庭问题、理财投资等等。）记住，任何事情都可以成为潜在的交谈话题。你甚至可以谈论与人闲聊时你有多不自在――问问对方是怎么做到的？

其实，闲聊不一定是件痛苦的事，即便对方是你期待能对你留下好印象的老板，抑或是你希望能多见面的相亲对象。

信不信由你，闲聊也可以变得很有趣――即便是对性格比较安静的人而言。闲聊也是一门可以学习的艺术。

“那么……今天天气如何？” 这样的开场白很难引出使人兴奋的对话（但是，如果你很急切地要找一个对话的切入点，那不妨先将就着用这句话吧）。如果你必须以天气作为开场白来闲聊，那就尽量来点特殊的方式。比如说：“外面简直冷得刺骨呀――你有听过这么一句话吗，‘比______还冷’？这话到底是谁说的来着？”用这种方式，效果也许会好得多，这也取决于你是在和谁说话。

即使你是外向的人，闲聊也不是件容易的事，但对于内向的人而言它更难。以下的10个小贴士教你如何与陌生人交谈：

Recall your past conversations with the same person. Ask if their son is still ill or how the holiday went. Making small talk is easier when your memory is good.

聊聊以前你们聊过的事。问问对方的儿子是不是还病着或者这个假日是怎么度过的？当你记性好时，闲聊会更简单。

Relax. Enjoy yourself.People are interesting！ If you combine these tips for making small talk with sincere interest， you’ll embark on a fascinating conversational ride.

放松。享受聊天的过程。人都是很有趣！如果你综合以上的小贴士，带着真诚的兴趣与别人闲聊，那么你将登上一个令人着迷的会话旅程。

Let it go. If the conversation feels like dragging a piano uphill then it may be time to move on or let silence take over. You can’t connect with everyone. Making small talk involves knowing when it’s time to move on.

顺其自然。如果你们的交谈感觉像是硬要把钢琴拖到山顶，那么也许是时候进行新的话题了，或者什么都别说让沉默来接班。你不可能和每个人都聊得顺畅开心。闲聊包含知道它什么时候进入下一个话题。