A letter to the cruel world

This spring falls on me as a heavy thing.

My mother with diabetes mellitus for more than 10 years suffers serious heart palpitation suddenly. She would breathe like underwater when sitting on the balcony on the 17th floor. At the dawn of the next day， she told me with tears that she wanted to jump off the balcony in the dark midnight.

One of my brothers suffered betrayal of his wife 3 years ago. The woman having obtained a marriage license with him and only waiting for a welding got away suddenly. With the onset of his depression occasionally over the past 3 years， one afternoon in March， he called me suddenly and asked me： “Please tell me the way to home， I can’t find it...” He finally became a schizophrene in the next hot and dry evening.

I feel that all these echo the thing wrote in Nine Sadness by Lu Min imperceptibly. I met this book in this spring and felt the charm of this spring and its fated destructiveness gives out from the book gradually.

The diffuse sadness of the lonely boy on the book cover can still send out even if the book cover is torn into pieces. Maybe， except sadness， I think， what Lu Min really wants to say is life， that is to say， abyss.

Life is a sensitive place for Lu Min as a novelist who always reminds us of our ridiculous life.

The panic about eating in Not Eating， the health maintenance craziness caused by aging in Blood and Iron Horning Pigeon and the various sequelae under the “north city” shadow of high-speed urbanization in Unmentionable Disease as well as the high-frequency modern death event around Laolei in Death Seek and the inundate printing of previous information and commercial age in Paper...the story of Lu Min links with the survival of this age with such poignant directivity. She lists such knowledge， report and details tirelessly and builds the physical space required by her novel based on these.

We can see the men walking toward us gradually based on the background of the thing. Whether called as Qing Yi， Li Fu， Chen Yixin or Mr. Mu， Laolei， they have a same character： they are middle-aged， sensitive and even neurotic， so compared with us who are content with our dark and gloomy life， they are more sensitive and quick to accept the danger signal set out from the deep life. They are not content with the colorless and tasteless air besides them and often look at other people and family members pessimistically and contemptuously. They accumulate the depression little by little and we know， finally they certainly will find their special arms.

For example， Qin Yi in Not Eating “does not eat” common food， but eat the left leg of wooden stool， rhizome of hyacinth， knur of bamboo pen container......his journey of alternative food opposed to the world begins. The retired Mr. Mu is deaf to the health maintenance of her wife， but obsessed with the flying ability of horning pigeon. Finally he jumps from high buildings and completes an awkward imitation of bird by human with his arms and slightly plump body.

We can find easily that the resistance of the vulnerable men in the work of Lu Min is poetic and imaginative. Lu Min is determined to put a poetic heart in them， so she gives up the description of their lost life， but let them lead by the drastic poetic heart to complete a poetic falling or escape.

To a great extent， these drastic stories of Lu Min are daring assumptions and also distressed retrospect of the troublous life.

So， as the resistance of these men is more and more abstract and the arms in their hand are more and more fantastic， her fictitious stories are more and more touching.

Let’s look at the most fascinating Death of Xie Bomao in the whole work.

The investigation of Xie Bomao begins with a visit like in the detective novel. The final career of a dead letter postman makes this suspenseful story fall into the sadness of mourning. Even Lu Min herself is in no mood to play hiding and seeking with us. I have said that Lu Min is more a poet who is filled with sorrow， so she discloses the perpetrator in the 2nd section who feels the work is boring， the marriage is dead and his daughter is unromantic. He cannot sleep at night， so he images a good brother named Xie Bomao and then writes to this nonexistent close friend.

The investigation continues and such investigation for an addressor is an irreversible recall of the dying letter. However， for the writer， it is also a kind of recall by turning out the long unused brush， reviewing the particularity of pasting stamp and imagining how that wondering letter falls into the dark mailbox.

Does Zhai Yongming， a poetess， living in Chengdu， also stay late in such a similar evening and write her yearning for ancient times？ She said， “In ancient time， I could only/ write to you like this and I do not know/where we will/meet each other for the next time...”

Yes， pain.

This pain is hidden in the letter that cannot be delivered in Death of Xie Bomao： “He has written timeworn and dusty passion； he has written remote lover equal to be dead； and he has also written silent shouting， ant ... copulative Africa beast， that is the silent masturbation of midnight TV.” And the investigation of the addressor in the story makes him become a beggar in the street.

There is nothing we could do and we can only use the ancient grace to briefly stop the pain. For example， at the end of the story， the addressor and the writer finally meet each other； however， Xie Bomao that they want to find is still on the distant road and go further and further.

I can’t imagine what could be sadder than this.