乞丐 第9期

Beggar

It is very boring to be alone in the afternoon.

I always think a lot when I am alone,because I won’t be disturbed.It seems as if a bee is flying in my head that I can hardly stop thinking.I think not only what I have seen,but also what I have heard.Everything surrounding me could make me think.

I walked out of the McDonald,thinking the meaning of the soft drink I had just now.It was no more than spending some money senselessly,I thought.My head was empty.Suddenly,I had a plan,why not sit beside the street,and perhaps I could meet a cool guy who could spend this tiresome afternoon with me?In this modern city,I am living my life like real woman.My words,my emotion,everything I have are influenced by this city.I found that there were some people whom I dislike,so I called them“farmer who don’t know anything about modern arts and belongs to the last century.But,I’m not sure whether I am a farmer who is looked down upon by the people from other planets.

I was still standing at the dorrway of the Mc Donald.Of course,I knew I couldn’t stand there forever,but where should I go?No direction.The street before me was still blurry and dim.Ok,just walk on,until I could find a place to sit down.I walked aimlessly,and suddenly I stopped.What could make me stop?Don’t think that I met a super cool guy.On the contrary,it was two dirty beggars.Don’t ask me who created the word Beggar?I Don’t ask me who created the word Beggar?I don’t know.What shocked me was that one of the beggars was a little girl.She was very dirty and no more than 4 years old.She wore very little in the cold wind,sitting beside her mother.It was obvious that her mother’s legs were broken.When I looked at them,there was just one word in my head,which was“Dirty”.

I wanted to continue walking as if nothing had happened,after all,anything would happen nowadays,so everything could be taken for granted.It’s not strange that someone who looks like a beggar is actually a millionaire,and that someone makes a living by taking the advantage of people’s sympathy for beggars.The newspaper often tells us to be wary of the pseudo-beggar.At that moment,I found the little girl was standing in front of me,shaking her cup ceaselessly,which was used for collecting money.Looking at her pure eyes,I forget the noisy cars and the busy city.I could only hear the sound of falling coins.I could only hear the sound of falling coins.I thought of my childhood,which was carefree.No one taught me how to stop the people,and I needn’t shake a cup all day long.What’s most important is that no one would look down upon me,or they get away just because I was smelly.Are we different?She didn’t recite any poem,and she didn’t have many toys,either.But she learned how to beg.Is it her fault?Of course not.Look at her eyes.They are as pure as those of other children of her age.Other children’s world is colorful and happy.They know what happness is.But,she had to suffer from the hunger,the indifference of people and the coldness.She lost her happy life and her smile.Her eyes and pale face made me feel sad,and made me think of so many things.

I continued my walk,without looking at her face and eyes.I sat down,not far from her.I felt very upset.The time went by,but I still sat there,with an empty head.At last,I couldn’t control myself any more.I searched all my pockets crazily.After all,it is more meaningful to give the money to the poor than spend it on silly things.

I walked to them,and gave them all my money.I was so excited that I carelessly dropped all the money.I bent down to pick them up piece by piece,and put them in the little girl’s cup.Her mother kowtowed to me again and again.The little just stood there,still like a little fool.I smiled.

I put my hands in the pockets,feeling very happy.Am I a good person?No,I’m not.At least I wish I were not.My brother said,“Good person don’t live long while bad ones always do.“I don’t want to die,so I’m a bad person,a stupid bad person.

Ok,I had to go home.Without money to pay my bike for the parking lot,I had to walk home.

(Lu Qian)

乞 丐

一个人的下午，是很无聊的。

通常一个人时，我会想很多，因为这时不用与别人交谈了，所以也就没有什么可以分神的了。想，想，想，胡思乱想，看到的，听到的，所有我周围的一切，这时候都可以让我浮想联翩。

我从麦当劳里走出来，回忆着刚才自己坐在那里静静地喝完一杯饮料有什么意义，无非是胡乱花掉了一些钱而已，脑子里却一片空白。我突然想：“要不在大街上坐坐，或许能遇到个帅哥，陪我度过这个无聊的下午。”

现代的都市里，我像个人一样地活着。我的文字，我的情感，我的东西，都被这个繁华的城市熏陶着，有人看不惯，我说他是农民，老土，不懂什么是现代艺术。其实呢，我真的不敢保证，在外星人眼里，我是不是也是个被人看不起的farmer。

我还是依然站在麦当劳门口，丝毫没有改变运动状态的倾向。我当然知道不能这样下去，可是我该去哪里呢？没有方向，前面的路依然很模糊。走吧，走吧，网吧、氧吧，随便什么，只要坐下来就行。正当我漫无目的，摇摇晃晃，歪歪斜斜，迷迷糊糊地走着，我突然停住了。还有什么事能让一个俗不可耐的家伙停住呢？别以为我真的那么好运碰上了个超级无敌大帅哥，而是我碰到了大衰神――两个乞丐。别问我是谁发明的乞丐二字，我就算用膝盖想也想不出。不过有一点值得注意的是：她是个小孩。这个瘦瘦的小女孩蓬头垢面的，看来也不过三四岁，在北京这个瑟瑟秋风的日子里，穿得很单薄，她的妈妈坐在地上，显然是腿坏了。看到她们，我脑中只划过一个字，脏！

我习惯性的，准备走过去，这年头，什么都有，形似乞丐的富翁！骗人钱财的乞丐！报纸上不是经常报道吗！什么提高警惕，提防假乞丐的伪装等等。还是宁可信其有，不可信其无吧！当我抬腿准备离去，那个小女孩却先我一步挡在我面前，用那双无知纯真的眼睛，手里不停地摇着放钱的破杯子，那一刻，我的耳边没有了汽车的吵闹，没有了城市的喧嚣，只有那个硬币轻轻弹起，然后唏哩哗啦地掉落，清脆极了。我想起了我的童年，无忧无虑，没有人教我要如何挡住别人的路，更不用一天到晚用那双已经脏兮兮的小手不厌其烦地摇杯子，最重要的是，不会有人用厌恶的眼神看着我，不会有人捂着鼻子从我身边溜过……我是纯真的，难道她就不是吗？她无非就是没有从小背古诗，没有那么多丰富的玩具，而提早学会了如何伸手向别人要钱，这是她的错吗？当然不是了，你看，她那双纯洁无暇的眼睛，和所有同龄的孩子一样，新奇地看着这个世界。但是那些孩子，看到的是世界的美好，快乐，从小就已经懂得了幸福。而她呢，同样的眼神，所承受的是严寒酷暑，人情冷暖，饥肠辘辘，看那张小脸，失去了属于它的欢乐，属于它的笑容，有的只剩下那双让人心寒的眼睛，嵌在脏得看不出肤色的脸上，竟也让我感慨，让我想到了这么多……

我依然走了过去，没敢再看她的脸，她的眼，让我的背影再一次破灭了她的希望。我决定坐下，我坐在了离她们不远的石椅上，从来没有这么失败过，我的心说。发呆，发呆，发呆……时间，走了。我让自己的脑袋空了，刻意的。但最后我忍不住了，发疯似的找自己的口袋。钱，与其把它吃进肚子，不如……

我这次主动走到了她们面前，把钱，我所有的钱，全给了她。激动之下，钱掉了满地，我蹲下来一张一张把它们捡起来。送到她的杯子里，她的妈妈不停地冲我磕头，她傻傻地站在那里，大概不知道怎么回事吧，到底是个孩子！我笑了。

我把手了口袋，空空的，美美的。好人！是这样的吗？当然不是了，我还记得老哥说，好人不长命，祸害遗千年，我可不想早死。所以我是个坏人，一个有点傻的坏人吧！

好了，我该回家了。自行车……在这里！走喽！啊？什么！！！要存车费！？

（吕倩）