如果失败,如果跌到

As a baby， we learn to walk not by walking， but by falling. We try to push ourselves up， and then we fall down.

作为一个婴儿的时候，我们不是靠走，而是靠跌倒学会了走路。我们试着爬起来，然而却又摔倒了。

Some might say we fail， over and over again. But a parent looks at their baby trying to walk and thinks， “Look at her trying to walk！She’s doing so well. Look， she made it three steps further this time.”

有些人可能会说我们一次又一次失败了。但是做父母的看到他们的孩子正尝试着走路，会想：“看她试着走了！她做得很好。看，她这一次又多走了三步。”

No matter what you call it， learning something new involves taking risks of failure. Not just once， but over and over again.

不管你怎么称呼它，学习一些新的东西，总要冒着失败的风险。不只是一次，而是一次又一次。

Of course some of us learn more easily than others. But for most of us， it’s a hard， sometimes trying process. It may result in failure time and time again， just like a little baby learning to walk. But unlike the baby， we often criticize our failures as adults―we’re stupid， we’re not good enough.

当然，我们中的一些人学起来比其他人更容易。但对我们大多数人来说，这是一个艰难的，不断尝试的过程。这可能会导致一次又一次的失败，就像一个婴儿蹒跚学步一样。但和蹒跚学步的孩子不同的是，作为成年人，我们经常批评我们的失败――我们太笨，我们做得还不够好。

Babies don’t think that. They think， “Hey， this walking thing is kind of cool. It’s what grownups do and I’m doing it！Oh， I fell again.

Well， I’ll just get back up and try again.”

幼儿不这么认为。他们认为，“嘿，走路这事儿有点酷。这就是大人做的事儿，我也正在这么做！哎呀，我又摔倒了。好吧，我要重新再来一次。”

They don’t criticize themselves （they don’t even know what criticism is）. They take the risk， time and time again， falling over and over again. And all they know is to get up and try again.

他们不会批评自己（他们甚至不知道什么是批评）。他们一次又一次地冒险，一次又一次地摔倒。他们只知道要站起来再试一次。

They see the joy on other people’s faces when they try again. They hear the excitement in their voices and feel that no matter what， someone will be there to make sure they don’t get hurt too badly when they fall.

当他们再次尝试的时候，他们看到的是别人脸上的喜悦。他们听到他们的声音里的兴奋，并认为，无论怎样，都会有某个人在，以保证他们跌倒时不会受到太严重的伤害。

As adults， we don’t always have someone to rely on to watch out for our hurts when we fail or fall. We have to learn to rely on ourselves. Nobody can be our safety net all the time in our lives ― only we can act as our own safety nets.

作为成年人，当我们失败或跌倒时，并不总是有人能让我们依靠并关注我们受到的伤害。我们必须学会依靠自己。在我们的人生中，没有人能一直做我们的安全网

――除了我们自己。

We need to fail―failure is how we learn. If we never fail at anything， we probably haven’t learned all that life has to teach us. So to me， it’s not a question of failing， but how I can fail more quickly and take something away from the experience.

我们需要失败――失败是我们学习的方式。如果我们从来没有失败过，我们可能学不会生活要教给我们的一切。所以对我而言，这不是关于失败的问题，而是关于我怎样才能更迅速地失败，并从中汲取经验的问题。

What can help us when we fail？

当我们失败的时候，有什么能够帮助我们？

1. Don’t criticize yourself for trying and never stop trying.

Trying or learning something new is often half the battle. Babies don’t give up until they learn to walk. If you really want to change some behavior or learn to do something new， don’t give up trying. You may get depressed by the lack of progress sometimes， but if you give up， your progress will come to an end.

1. 不要因尝试而批评自己，也不要停止尝试。

尝试或学习一些新的东西往往等于成功了一半。学步的孩在学会走路之前不会放弃。如果你真的想改变或学习做一些新的事情，不要放弃尝试。你可能因为进展不顺而沮丧，但如果你放弃，你的进步会戛然而止。

2. Understand the power of optimism1.

While optimism is the “new happiness”， there is a certain power in optimistic2 thinking whether you believe it wholly or not. Putting yourself in a more optimistic mindset （or even a more mindful mindset） can open you up to more possibilities than usual. Kids don’t ask whether they can do something or not―they know they can. And that’s one of the values we so cherish in children.

2. 理解乐观的力量。

虽然乐观是种“新的幸福”，无论你是否相信，乐观的思维总有一种力量。把自己放在一个更乐观的心态（甚至是一个更谨慎的心态）能够让你获得比平常更多的可能性。孩子们不会问他们能不能做到某些事情――他们知道自己可以。这是值得我们珍惜的孩子们的价值观之一。

4. Learn to rely on yourself first， then others.

Those who are self-reliant3 are also usually more resilient4―meaning they can bounce back from problems， stress and heartbreak more quickly than those who aren’t. Becoming more self-reliant is easier than it sounds―become your own best friend， do everything that you can possibly do for yourself， and learn what your strengths and weaknesses are.

4. 学会先依靠自己，然后才是别人。

那些自力更生的人通常也更有韧性――这意味着，比起那些没有自主性的人，他们能更快地从问题、压力和悲伤中恢复。变得更加独立比听起来更容易做到――成为自己最好的朋友吧，为自己做力所能及的一切，了解你自己的优点和缺点是什么。

5. Don’t look back.

We spend too much of ourlives looking back. There’s nothing back there to see. A baby wouldn’t get anywhere walking if all she did was look behind herself while trying to move forward. Spend just 10 percent more of your time looking forward to what life holds for you in the future， and I suspect you’ll find yourself in a better position.

5. 不要缅怀过去。

我们成人花了太多的时间去回顾过去。没有什么值得回头看的。一个蹒跚学步的孩子如果在向前的时候总是回头看，是去不了任何地方的。多花百分之十的时间去期待着你未来的生活吧。我想你会发现自己会做得更好。

Failure is a part of life since our earliest moment of life. Somewhere along the way， we think of failure as something bad―it gets laden down with negative thoughts. But failure is a normal and natural part of life that is neither bad nor good―it’s just how we learn.

从我们生命的一开始，失败是生命的一部分。在人生旅途中，我们认为失败是个糟糕的东西――它充满了消极的想法。但失败是生活中很正常的、很自然的一部分――它只是我们学习的方式。

So the question isn’t whether you want to fail or not （because we all won’t）， but how quickly you can accept your failure， learn something from it， and try again. We can learn something from a baby learning to walk―they don’t take their failure to heart； they simply try again.

因此，问题不在于你是否愿意失败（因为我们都不想失败），而在于你如何快速地接受失败，从中学到一些东西，然后再试一次。我们可以从一个学走路的孩子身上学习一些东西――他们不把失败放在心上，他们只会再试一次。