胖爸爸伴我成长

I grew up with a fat dad—450 pounds at his heaviest. Every week he would try a new diet, and my family ended up eating whatever strange food he was trying at that moment. By the time I was nine, I was an expert on Atkins, Pritikin and Weight Watchers注, just to name a few. Did I mention spending four weeks at Duke University’s “fat farm” eating only small bowls of white rice, while my ten-year-old 1)peers were home eating ice cream 2)cones?

胖老爸伴着我长大——他最胖的时候重450磅（204公斤）。每个星期他都要尝试新的减肥食谱，我们一家人就得跟着他一块儿吃那些乌七八糟的食物。九岁时，我已经对“阿特金斯”、“普瑞提金”和“减肥中心”等等了如指掌。顺带一提，10岁那时，同龄人在家里吃着圆筒雪糕，我却在杜克大学的“减肥训练营”吃了四个星期的小碗米饭，你知道吗？

尽管比同学矮小，我依然吃着无卡面粉，喝无糖苏打水——厨房里只有这些可以吃。我爸爸只执着于两件事——他的广告职业和上下浮动（但通常只朝错误的方向浮动）的体重。每一个新的减肥食谱都有可能解决他日益扩大的腰围问题。

另一方面，妈妈从来就搞不懂食物的重要性，每天只是在站着打电话的时候吃一点点。她对做饭毫无兴趣。很多时候，我们的正餐就是爸爸的食谱、一份代餐奶昔或是在汽车中吃个比萨饼了事。我们从没试过一家人坐在一起吃饭；事实上，我们压根就没有坐下来吃过饭。我们在家从来不使用银制餐具或盘子，只用塑料叉子和纸盘。

对于那些年，我唯一的印象就是我总是很饿——我渴求食物，渴求干净漂亮的衣服；当我跑出去或在柜子里藏了几个小时的时候，渴求有人给我一点关注。我很饥渴——渴望有人关心我，因为我还是个小孩，渴望得到关爱。

不过，每逢周五的晚上，我就不会有这种饥饿感了。我的外公会把我接去过周末。每次来到外公家，餐桌上总是摆着精美的瓷器，炉子上的锅子里总是在炖着东西，等待我的还有清爽的淋浴和带薰衣草香味的干净睡衣。在外婆的家里，我才体会到什么是真正的营

grandparent’s house that I learned what true 14)nourishment was. It is where my tears were dried.

When I walked into my grandmother’s kitchen, life transformed from 15)processed packages of salty 16)MSG 17)instant soup to the delicious warm, fragrant smell of homemade chicken soup. Giant salads, fresh fruits and the 18)aroma of just-baked 19)muffins filled the air and my world. It was the only place I can remember feeling happy, safe and nourished. It was what I craved.

My grandmother taught me how good it felt to be cared for, and how to care for myself and others through cooking. It was always about the 20)ingredients for her. If I asked her how much 21)celery to 22)chop for a soup, she’d 23)wave off the question. “Just use your creativity,”she’d say. “You can’t go wrong when you use fresh ingredients.” She’d throw a few carrots, sweet potatoes, a few 24)veal bones—whatever looked best at the market that day—into a pot. Two hours later, it was the most delicious thing I’d ever tasted.

My grandmother was always 25)skeptical of my parents’ 26)wacky eating habits and 27)reliance on processed diet foods, and she made it her mission to teach me how to feed myself and my sister. My grandmother was my 28)mentor and my 29)savior. She poured love and 30)stability into my life.

After my third-grade year, my dad landed a life-changing job in Manhattan. My mom, my little sister and I had to move away from our hometown, Chicago, and leave my grandmother and her beautiful food behind.

Leaving my grandmother was far

有在外婆家度过的温馨周末，再也没有家常菜。要活下去，我必须完全独立，自力更生。在这个陌生的城市里，我觉得无比孤独和迷失，我非常想念外婆。

外婆知道我的感受——她也知道怎么缓解我的思念。她每个星期都会给我寄一张卡片，里面夹着20美元、一个食谱，还有一张市场采购单。这让我们一直保持亲近。她的食谱喂饱了我的身体，充实了我的心灵。

这些年来，我渐渐理解父亲的痛苦——他为自己的体重苦苦挣扎，这不仅对他本人是一种折磨，也折磨着爱他的人。尽管在这么不健康的饮食环境中成长（也许正是因为这一点），长大成人后，我对营养咨询师这个行业产生了极大兴趣，最终以此作为职业。

我父亲现在的体重是220磅（99.8公斤），他成了一个素食主义者。更重要的是，食品不再是让我们疏离的障碍，反而成为我们沟通的桥梁。爸爸最喜欢与我讨论减肥理论，还有他每次成功减重的故事。现在，我定期向爸爸家寄去食谱卡片，就像外婆当年寄给我那样。