How To Talk Dirty!(Without Sounding Ridiculous)

We all want to be that mythical sexy girl who always knows the perfect naughty something to whisper in her guy’s ear. But in reality， most of us are stumped as to what sounds hot instead of cheesy or porny （sorry， Fifty Shades， you were no help）， much less how to feel comfortable saying it. As the editor of fleshbot. com， I’ve spent the past four years watching countless hours ofand reading page after page of erotica. And yes， I’ve cringed my way through some of the least sexy dialogue known to humankind. But I’ve also learned that done right， a little dirty talk can make an already sexy affair downright unforgettable... because it keeps you in the moment. How many times have you found yourself distracted during a hookup， more worried about how you look than how good the action feels？ Telling your partner how awesome he feels inside you forces you to focus on exactly what you’re feeling and helps push away any mental distractions.

If you have never been one to talk dirty or aren’t sure if you can pull it off， take it from me： anyone can master the art. All you need is some inspiration （and some practice）. Here’s what to do...

start simple

The bedroom doesn’t have to be a venue to spout the filthiest thing you can imagine. Phrases as simple as “Oh， that’s hot” or “That feels so good” will get temperatures rising. As DJ， a 34-year-old writer， explains， “Enthusiasm for what’s happening goes a long way.”

create an alter ego

By day， you’re a well-brought-up girl who never forgets to say please and thank you. But behind closed doors， you can take on any persona you like. Maybe you’re a seductive spy or an adventurous French dancer. Whomever you decide to be， playing a character can help you experiment with all sorts of dirty phrases you never thought you’d hear yourself say. Need help getting into character？ Turn on a playlist or a soundtrack that gets you hot， and lose yourself in the music.

ask for what feels good

Any straight man will tell you there’s nothing hotter than a woman who knows what she wants in bed...except a woman who isn’t afraid to ask for it. If you’re at a loss for words， tell your partner what hot， dirty things you’d love for him to do. If he’s already doing them， tell him how much you enjoy them.

gauge his dirtytalk threshold

If you have no clue whether your guy’s dirty-talk meter is set to ‘a little naughty’ or ‘downright filthy’， do a sneaky little test. Ask him， “What would you like me to do to you？ Details， please.” And see what words he uses and how risqué he’s willing to get. Then follow his lead.

dont worry about sounding silly

When you’re aroused， your brain works differently―a lot of things that seem ridiculous when you’re in your normal state of mind can suddenly seem really， really hot. “It’s primal，” says Sanya， a 33-year-old graphic designer， “so it’s all fair game.” And if you say something dirty and he acts weird？ If he’s a jerk about it， leave―this guy’s not worth messing around with anyway. If he’s just a bit thrown off， just smile and say，“What I meant was...”

go ahead： try a four-letter word

Maybe you’re not big on cursing―especially if you’re not big on cursing―try a little swearing in bed. Like a primal scream， you won’t know how good an F-bomb feels until you let it out. And your partner will love how worked up you are.