同学聚会,你参加吗?

“同学聚会”——多么令人兴奋的字眼，有多少人曾经为了那个可以一叙旧情的日子高兴得睡不着觉？但是，也有越来越多的人表示，离校园生活越远，“同学聚会”也越发变味，因为聚会变得越来越像是一个炫富、晒幸福、比成就的场合，日子过得滋润的人会积极赴约、侃侃而谈，生活潦倒的则沉默寡言，甚至推辞出席。当年那纯纯的同学聚会，真的会变得如此世俗吗？童鞋们，你怎么看？

When a bunch of my friends and former classmates talked about attending our college reunion months ago, everyone seemed excited, everyone was “definitely going.”

Now the reunion is a mere two weeks away and suddenly the number of attendees is 1)dwindling. It seems the event looked very 2)appealing when it was a long, long way off. Now that it is in the near future, it has lost its 3)luster.

I get it. It can be expensive. It can be a 4)hassle. My college, Hobart-William Smith, is in Geneva, New York—the middle of nowhere. I live in Los Angeles. Just thinking about the all the travel I must do for three days of fun makes me tired.

几个月前，我的一群朋友和老同学聊到大学聚会的事儿，大家似乎都激动不已，所有人都表示“肯定会参加”。

现在距离聚会只有两周时间了，决定要参加的人数却突然骤减。貌似聚会遥遥无期时，总显得十分诱人。如今聚会愈来愈近，却失去了魅力。

我也懂，参加聚会可能开销会很大，并且麻烦。我的大学——霍巴特—威廉·史密斯学院，坐落于纽约日内瓦这个前不着村后不着店的地方。我住在洛杉矶。为了三天的欢聚要长途跋涉，单是想想我就已经觉得很疲惫。

I also get that people use such 5)benchmarks as reunions as a time to set unrealistic goals for themselves. They want to lose twenty pounds...before the reunion. They want to have a better job...before the reunion. They want their 6)hair plugs to take root...before the reunion. When those goals aren’t reached, they back out of the reunion. They say they’ll make it to the next reunion. Surely five years will be enough time to meet their goals, they tell themselves.

But do we ever really reach our goals? Who knows what will happen in five years? Besides, if you’re balding now, you’ll be really bald in five years.

I think if you’ve lost touch with everyone from your college days, attending a reunion can be 7)daunting and not that appealing. But if you’ve kept in touch with some good friends, then attending a reunion isn’t so overwhelming. I’m going to my reunion to hang out with friends I try to see every year. The only difference this year is that we’ll be hanging out on the turf where it all began. This year, we have permission to 8)delve into the past without feeling the least bit 9)pathetic.

我也知道许多人会以重聚作为基准点，给自己设下不现实的目标。他们想在聚会前……减掉20磅的体重。他们想在聚会前……找一份更好的工作。他们想在聚会前……植发成功。但是，当无法达到这些目标时，他们便选择退出聚会。他们说下次聚会一定参加。他们自欺欺人地认为五年后肯定会达到自己设下的目标。

但我们是否真的达到目标了呢？谁知道五年后会发生什么事情？况且，如果你现在已经开始掉发了，五年后你就真的会谢顶了。

我认为，如果你和大学的所有同学都失去了联系，参加聚会便显得令人怯步和不甚吸引了。但是如果你和一些好朋友保持着联系，参加聚会就不会那么令人不知所措。我将会去参加聚会，和我每年都尽量见面的朋友相聚。唯一不同的是，今年我们将会回到大家相识的起点相聚。今年，我们可以尽情地回味过去，而丝毫不觉得感伤。

And the friends you’ve kept in touch with don’t notice the extra pounds (well, maybe they do, but they pretend really well that they don’t). They accept you for who you are and just want to have some laughs.

I’ve also had friends tell me they don’t want to go to their reunions because they’re embarrassed by the person they used to be. Welcome to the club! Who isn’t a little embarrassed by their younger selves? We all have 10)skeletons in our closet—mine happen to wear a dazed expression while gripping a beer bottle in between their bony fingers. But embarrassing moments are what coming of age is all about.(Actually, I do get embarrassed by my older self too).

Part of the purpose of attending a reunion is to 11)reminisce. Once you do, you’ll realize that most of the stuff you were embarrassed by actually makes good stories. In retrospect, it wasn’t as bad as you thought it was.

Going back to school can also remind you of the person you thought you’d be by now, which can be hard for people who imagined greatness which they didn’t achieve. Most people feel like they’ve fallen short of their goals; most people feel like they didn’t 12)live up to their expectations.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Think about all you have accomplished. Think about all the stuff you survived. I bet you did better than you imagined. Actually, I bet your younger self never imagined most of it.

So relax, have fun, and don’t make such a big deal about it.

And when you return to your old life, you’ll have a fresher outlook.

那些你一直保持联系的朋友不会觉察到你变胖了（好吧，或许他们已经觉察到了，但是他们假装得很好，表现得像没觉察到一样）。他们接受真实的你，只是想寻些乐子而已。

也有些朋友告诉我，他们不想参加聚会，因为他们为过去的自己感到难堪。欢迎加入到我们这一群人当中！谁不是为过去的自己而感到些许难堪呢？谁没有羞于启齿的过去呢——而我的难堪在于以往当我瘦削的手紧握着酒瓶时，脸上总挂着一丝茫然。但尴尬时刻是我们成长必不可少的经历。（实际上，我也为现在的自己感到难堪。）

参加聚会的部分原因在于回忆过去。一旦你参加了，你会意识到你为之尴尬的事情，却是大家津津乐道的趣事。回想起来时，其实它并不像你想象中的那么糟糕。

重返校园亦会让你想起当年的自己，那个想像着多年后功成名就的自己——这对于曾经敢于想象而如今却没有达成心愿的人来说，是很艰难的事情。大多数人会觉得自己没有达成目标；大多数人会觉得自己辜负了自己的期望。

不要对自己太苛刻。想一下自己已经取得的成就吧。想一下你成功经历过的苦难。我确信你已做得比自己期待中好了。事实上，我确信现在发生的大部分事情，是你年少时从未想象过的。

所以，放松点，开心玩，不要小题大做。

当你回忆起旧日时光，你会对人生有一份更新的展望。