A Pragmatic Analysis of Gender Difference on Compliment

Abstract： Gender differences in language use are common， especially in compliments. This paper intends to offer a pragmatic analysis of gender difference on compliment from six aspects： syntactic form， lexical choice， person focus， topics， compliment strategies and response strategies. Knowing these differences can help us make less pragmatic failure in our daily life.

Key words： gender difference； compliments； pragmatic analysis

Ⅰ.Introduction

According to Holmes（1986）， “A compliment is a speech act that explicitly or implicitly attributes credit to someone other than the speaker， usually the person addressed， for some ‘good’ （possession， characteristic， skill， etc.） which is valued positively by the speaker and the hearer”. We can see the compliment is a kind of expression to show praise， admiration， as well as agreement. From the perspective of pragmatics， researchers prefer to adopt two main theoretical frameworks towards compliments， one is Speech Act Theory and the other is the Politeness Theory. The compliment is a kind of speech act in the politeness principle， and researches on compliments are valuable and significant. Meanwhile， we must notice that the gender difference has a great effect on compliments. Thus it is necessary to investigate the gender differences in compliment.

Ⅱ.The Function of Compliment

From the pragmatic perspective， the compliments are polite speech acts， typically performed to make the addressee feel happy by saying something nice， and also can be used to express friendship and increase rapport between people. Compliments are as critical to social success as oxygen is to breathing. Manes （1983） considers that the function of compliments is to establish and reinforce solidarity between the speaker and the hearer. Wolfson（1983） and Holmes （1986） regard the compliments as social lubricants which are used to create or maintain rapport.

What’s more， compliments serve other functions， like greeting， apologizing， gratitude， or even like criticism， sarcasm or conversation opener. Compliments can serve the negative function， which can be defined as face-threatening acts. Holmes （1995） even thinks compliments as verbal harassment.

Ⅲ.Six Aspects of Gender Difference on Compliment

Gender differences always exist in our language use. To some extent， women’s being more polite than men in speech is derived from the gender-inequality. From the traditional perspective， men like to control and dominate while women like to obey and submit， and then men’s speech is regarded as the norm while women’s speech is judged in accordance with it. Thus women tend to use more polite speech styles than men in compliments. Here I will make an analysis towards the gender difference in compliments from six aspects in the following.

1.Syntactic form

When we compliment others， we may use a word， a sentence， or some longer sentences. Wolfson， Manes and Holmes once made a thorough study towards English in the syntactic form of compliments， and in the process they found some regular patterns in terms of the gender difference. With respect to syntax， their analysis results in most common syntactic patterns. The first one both men and women prefer is NP+BE （really） +ADJ which accounts for about 53%in their study， the second is I （really） like/love NP about 16.1%， and the third is PRO is /Verb （really） ADJ +NP about 14.9%. For example，

1.Your dress is beautiful.

2.I like your hair style.

3.That’s a cute cat.

Among these， there is a high frequency of pattern 1 in males’ speech， while females like pattern 2. What’s more， they also find some minor syntactic patterns， like “You V a really ADJ NP.” “What a ADJ NP！” “ADJ NP！”. In general， women like to use more varied patterns than men.

2. Lexical choice

According to Manes and Wolfson （1981）， among the 686 compliments in their American corpus， 80% of all compliments in the data are adjectives， and five particular adjectives occur with high frequency： nice， good， beautiful， pretty and great. Also in all the compliments， the verbs “like” and “love” occur with the frequency of 86%. What’s more， the compliment can also be expressed by the noun and adverb， and the adverb “well” is by far the most common.

As to the gender differences on the lexical choice， women often choose to use such adverbs which contain some extreme meaning， like really， wonderfully， terribly and tremendously， while these adverbs like completely， utterly and absolutely will come from men’s mouth. Meanwhile， both men and women like using “like” and “love” to compliment others.

3.Personal focus

When comes to the personal focus of the compliments， we always refer to the 1st， 2nd， and 3rd person focus or impersonal ones. In general， the 1st and 2nd personal focus are grouped into personal compliments， while the 3rd person and those with focus on objects and events are grouped into impersonal compliments.

1st： I like your hair style.

2nd： You are beautiful.

3rd： It’s nice.

From the pragmatic perspective， women prefer to use the first and the second person structure. For example， “I like your new dress.” “You are so nice.” But men would like to use the third person and the impersonal structure. For example， “It’s nice.” “Good job.” Herbert （1986） claims that women like to give subjective judgments in order to create a gentle and friendly impression， and also leave the addressees some choices.

4. Topics

Studies show that the vast majority of compliments fall into only a few general topics， namely， appearance， ability， possession as well as personality. Concerning different roles that men and women play in society， we should choose different topics. As to women， their appearance and their personality will be the eternal topic. While for men， the society attaches more attention on their ability and possession.

Examples：

1. You look so nice when you smile. （for women）

2. You got a success. （for men）

Nowadays， the topics are not absolutely for some cross phenomena come into being. Some women with good ability like to talk about their working ability and to be praised like this， “Well done！” Also， some handsome men may accept these compliments， “You are so cool.” Thus in our daily life， we should choose proper topics concerning the gender difference， and then we can compliment others in a smooth way.

5. Compliment strategies

According to Ye （1995）， the compliment strategies come into four categories： explicit compliment， implicit compliment， non-compliment and no response. Females are more polite than males， no matter on the same gender level or on the different gender level， they always prefer to use explicit compliments while males would like to use implicit compliments or non-compliments， even say nothing.

6. Response strategies

We all know that if someone makes a compliment to you， you should do some response， in spite of acceptation or refusal. Holmes （1986） develops three categories of compliment response， accept， reject and deflect or evade. According to Holmes， the most common attitude that both men and women hold is “acceptation”. However， as to the refusal and avoidance， men tend to show more than women， for they think compliments can threaten their face， especially the praise to their appearance. Holmes （1995） even thinks compliments as verbal harassment. For example， if you compliment a man like this， “Oh， you are so beautiful！” the man will be unhappy， for he may think it is a little “womanish”. On the other hand， if a group of guys whistle， “Wow， what legs.” when some beautiful young ladies pass by， people will feel uncomfortable. So when we compliment others， we should consider certain contexts. We know that everyone has face wants， but the attitudes towards compliments are different between men and women. Women like to use more polite speech style while men tend to use a more assertive speech style for their society position. Men sometimes interpret compliments as face threatening acts， while women will look them as a good way to keep relationship.

Ⅴ.Conclusion

As we can see there are significant differences in using compliments between men and women. This paper begins with a discussion of what the compliment is and the function of compliments， then it takes into account what are considered to be the six aspects of the gender differences in compliments. The six aspects serve to make compliments easily identifiable and distinguishable from other speeches in our daily discourse.

In conclusion， the studies towards the gender differences in compliments are not easy for we need consider too many aspects. To have a better understanding and make less pragmatic failure in compliments， we should pay much more attention to observe and study the gender differences in our daily conversation.

References：

[1] Holmes， J. Compliments and compliment Responses in New Zealand English. Anthropological Linguistics， 1986.

[2] Holmes， J. Women， Men and Politeness. London and New York： Longman Group Limited， 1995.

[3]何兆熊.《语用学概要》. 上海： 上海外语教育出版社， 2011.