时间：2022-10-12 02:40:05
在劳伦斯（Lawrence），有家名叫The Raven的书店，店面不大，书也从不打折――偶尔书价还会上调，但却是镇上爱书者的圣地。他们的书签上印着一句格外有力的话――“Reading is Resistance”（阅读便是抗争）。这话原文是“Reading is an act of resistance in a landscape of distractions（分散注意力的东西）”，出自作家大卫・L.尤林（David L. Ulin）之口。
劳伦斯向来是个有着“resistance”传统的地方。当初，废奴主义者们为了反对奴隶制的扩张，千里迢迢赶到这里，在与奴隶制作战的最前线，堪萨斯（废奴州/自由州）与密苏里（蓄奴州）的交界处，建立了这座小镇，使这里成为因奴隶制存废而进行的几十年争斗的焦点所在。时至今日，当初的“Free State”堪萨斯已日趋保守，但劳伦斯却仍然保持着她的特立独行。
严格说来，劳伦斯并非一座大学城，但堪萨斯大学（KU）却在镇上起着至关重要的作用，不仅因为学校蜚声全国的篮球队，更因为这所以桀骜、狡猾的Jayhawk为标志的大学在建立以来的一百多年里，一直引领着思想、文化的风潮，在一片充满distractions的风景里，通过“阅读”做着不息的抗争。
在大学附近闲逛时，我偶然发现威廉・巴勒斯（William Burroughs）的住所旧址。对于美
国“counterculture”（反主流文化）风潮有所了解的人，想必对此人不会陌生。巴勒斯以记述其吸毒之后迷幻体验为主题的小说《午餐》（Naked Lunch）闻名于世，成为“counterculture”的核心人物。“垮掉的一代”的代表艾伦・金斯伯格（Allen Ginsburg）曾将诗集《嚎叫及其他诗》（Howl and Other Poems， 1956）献给巴勒斯等人；在献词中，金斯伯格这样写道：“To William Seward Burroughs， author of Naked Lunch， an endless novel which will drive everybody mad.”
巴勒斯的确是个“疯狂”人物，“百无禁忌”几乎是他唯一的生活准则。此人出生于密苏里州的圣路易斯市（St. Louis），一生中许多时光是在中西部度过的，晚年则定居于劳伦斯，这里的人们至今仍然津津乐道着许多有关巴勒斯和他的朋友们的趣事――实际上，巴勒斯去世不过二十多年，许多事件亲历者依然健在，比如曾经担任堪萨斯大学学术刊物Explore编辑的学者罗杰・马丁（Roger Martin），虽然帕金森病让他言语不清、行动迟缓，但说起当年的情景，他依然眉飞色舞。
在Raven书店，有一本长销书（从1991年出版至今，多次再版，可谓“长销”），正是由罗杰和另外两位朋友编著的，记述劳伦斯镇上嬉皮文化的口述史，书名叫做Cows Are Freaky When They Look at You：an Oral History of the Kaw Valley Hemp Pickers（在Raven属于书价上调的书）。在这里，逐渐老去的人们有些留恋、有些自嘲、有些无奈地讲述着他们曾经年少轻狂的岁月。罗杰和这镇上的许多人都很以此书而自豪，不仅因为它记录了一段重要的历史，更因为“神一般的”巴勒斯曾为此书作序。
巴勒斯这样写道：
“From time to time in human history the events of a few years will change the entire course of the future. The Crusades（）. The Renaissance（文艺复兴）. The discovery of the New World with the subsequent passion for travel and exploration. ‘It is necessary to travel’ was the motto of the old explorer， ‘it is not necessary to live’.”
“The beat/hippie/yippie2 movements of the 1960s initiated a sociological and cultural revolution of unprecedented influence and scope. Far-reaching changes were implemented by three factors： Rock’n’Roll Music... Drugs... The Mass Media.”
巴勒斯所说的“a few years”，对于劳伦斯的人们来说，是指20世纪60年代末到70年代初的日子――从旧金山的海特-黑什伯里区（Haight-Ashbury）开始，hippie浪潮一路席卷而来：“During the summer of 1967， the Summer of Love， a message went out from San Francisco：‘Brothers and sisters， come to the Haight， to Golden Gate Park. This is where it’s at.’ The media glommed onto（抢到）the idea， and Haight-Ashbury became Hippie Town， USA. It beckoned to（吸引）the restless（不M足现状的，求变的）young everywhere. On the TV screen， in Time and Life， by word of mouth， it looked and sounded loads better than Hometown， USA， and hordes of（成群的）the young and the dispossessed（被驱逐的人们）went west to search out both high excitement and better family ties.”
劳伦斯在这场浪潮中当然不甘落后。“But what went down on the coasts was not the measure of all things. New truths were tested and new institutions founded in numerous Heartland outposts（偏h居民区）. In Kansas， virtually every town learned to support at least one hippie， often the loneliest soul around... But the hotbed（温床）of Kansas hip was Lawrence， 35 miles west of Kansas City on I-703， home to the University of Kansas.”4
可惜，在这本记述劳伦斯hippie生活的口述史中，除了吸毒、滥交、胡闹之外，似乎看不到其他的内容――偶尔有人想去做些“正经事”，比如有个独眼嬉皮，想要竞选警长，却以在众人的哄笑中作罢而告终。也许对于大多数人来说，beat/hippie/yippie不过是一种更酷、更自由、更不负责任的生活方式，仅此而已。“Nothing was forbidden. This was the social contract of the Kaw Valley hippies. Those who signed on agreed to treat life as a laboratory and themselves as an experiment. As scientists of self they tried this， that and the other， whether the context was job， relationship， travel， ideology or mind-bending（稀奇古怪的想法）. The lifestyle’s daring（勇气，胆量）swelled（使增加）people’s pride.”5
一切不过是一场青春的实验，仅此而已。
其实，这场实验的悲剧意味，也许在很久之前，便在“神一般的”巴勒斯的生活中展现了。1951年，当时为了躲避缉毒警察而生活在墨西哥的他，在一场疯狂的“游戏”中失手开枪打死了妻子。当时的《纽约日报》（New York Daily）刊载了这样副标题的文章“William Seward Burroughs， 37， first admitted， then denied today that he was playing William Tell6 when he killed his pretty young wife during a drinking party last night.”然而，这件事并没有使他从“疯狂”中醒来，或至少有所反思，却让他陷入更加迷乱的疯狂之中。他后来的小说创作，包括《午餐》，在某程度上，都是这种日益增加的疯狂的产物。据其自述称，“I am forced to the appalling conclusion that I would never have become a writer but for Joan’s（他的亡妻）death， and to a realization of the extent to which this event has motivated and formulated my writing... The death of Joan brought me in contact with the invader the Ugly Spirit（“丑陋的”自己）， and maneuvered（诱使）me into a life-long struggle， in which I had no choice except to write my way out.”7
对于巴勒斯们来说，生活中的种种“束缚”都需撕去，但最终要面对的，还是那个“丑陋的”自己；而抗争，到了这最核心的一步，应该再往哪里走呢？
如今，hippie作为一种时尚，也许还会偶然重现――比如大披肩、喇叭裤、大墨镜。但是作为一种“思潮”，它已经像“青春期”一样远去了。那些曾经叫嚷着“resistance”的人们，可能又变作了新一代年轻人“resistance”的对象。
“resistance”是“年轻”的本质，而反抗什么，倒是不重要了。
不过，在这个故事中，还有一群人――他们看上去或许没有那么叛逆，他们相信“monogamy”（一夫一妻），相信养儿育女，相信稳定工作，他们除了啤酒，什么“”也不碰。对于他们来说，反抗是有着更为明确的目标的――他们反抗压制自由表达的政府，反抗不义的战争，反抗物质主义，反抗愚昧无知。对于他们来说，“resistance”不因年轻而存在，也不因年长而削减。
在堪谷的hippies们昏天黑地的时候，有这样一群人，他们没有什么响亮的名号，也不属于任何一个流行的小团体，他们只是些有正义感的读书人，他们，为着自己的理想，离开劳伦斯去了遥远、荒凉的地方。在密苏里深处的欧扎克（Ozarks）地区，有个名叫罗拉（Rolla）的小镇，因为采矿业而在美国中西部占有一席之地。后来在堪萨斯大学被戏称为“The Rolla Five”的五个正在读博士学位的年轻人，拒绝服兵役，也不想抛家弃子远遁国外，更不想去坐牢，于是，他们决定到欧扎克深处的矿区罗拉，来“开疆拓土”，把济慈、布莱克、雪莱8等人播撒到一片自古以来只出产坚硬金属和岩石的土地上。我的好朋友，“Rolla Five”中的第一位，James Bogan教授用这样一段文字讲述了那个故事：
“I was at KU on a full four-year scholarship through the Ph.D. and enjoying the life of a real student. Reading books， rallying（召集）opinions， going to movies. Writing too much. The War in Vietnam was in our days and nights. Resistance and occasional tear gas（催I瓦斯）. Then abruptly I had a choice： jail， the army， Canada， or some kind of deferment（延期入伍）. I had friends in jail， in the army， in Canada. I had child on the way. The chairman who played on the same baseball team as me， knew that I was looking for an alternative. He pointed out a job opening in the Ozarks―Outer Mongolia to us. A friend of mine， Bob Greene， a piano playing Keats scholar， and I made the trek（长途跋涉）to Rolla. Six hours by car. We were interviewed and they were sort of desperate and hired us both with a promise to do the paperwork for a deferment so that engineers would be taught English well for the good of the nation. So in January 1969 I started teaching full time， along with Bob. A year later Paul Johnson and Jack Morgan took the underground railroad to Rolla， as we could recommend them. Fred Goss， my Blake pal， followed on a few years later. Heretofore（在这之前）the department had been the domain of timid types. Now they had absorbed Blake agents， Keats aficionados（狂热爱好者）， all five poets of some power. I started the film program， Jack Morgan became a nationally known Irish literature scholar. Bob Greene got to go back to Lawrence. Paul Johnson confounded（使惊讶，使困惑）everyone with chess and poetry and some bizarre behavior. The War had blown us out of Lawrence， but the spirit of that great place and of the youth movement took root in the Ozarks. For me it turned into a dream job where I created a path as I went， with the administration helping me along the way. My colleagues did not dig in as I did. I made peace with the place early on and still appreciate it as a great place to be if you can get out of it once in a while to Brazil， China， England， Ireland， Holland， and who knows where next. And it all came of my playing third base（棒球第三垒）on the departmental baseball team.”
我愿意把这五位称作“罗拉五侠”，因为他们当得起个“侠”字。他们没有刀、枪，但他们有文学和满腔的热血，而且，就凭着这两点，他们改变了一个世界。面对一个冰冷、残酷而又傲慢的体制，也许要砸碎各种规矩没有什么难的，但像“罗拉五侠”这样，去几乎“蛮荒的”地方――没有文学的地方，称其为“蛮荒”，大概算不得过分吧――建立一片绿洲，真的是英雄之举。
说“I don’t care”的确需要勇气，但说“I care”需要更大的勇气。真正的“反叛”其实是“重建”。冲出一个死气沉沉的世界，容易；但是建设一个充满生气的世界，却难。还好，我们有不会褪色的“阅读”。
1. 堪谷：Kaw valley。Kaw是当地人对Kansas River的俗称。
2. beat指“垮掉的一代”；hippie指“嬉皮士”；而yippie（雅皮士）与前两者基本相似，不过带有更多的政治性。
3. Interstate 70，指70号州际高速公路。
4. Cows Are Freaky When They Look at You： an Oral History of the Kaw Valley Hemp Pickers. Watermark Press， 1991. Preface.
5. 同上。
6. 瑞士民间传说人物，因用弩箭射中放在儿子头上的苹果而为人熟知。显然，巴勒斯是模仿此人而用枪打死了妻子。
7. 转引自Naked Lunch： the Restored Text， Harper Perennial， Modern Classics. 2005. 附录，第5页。
8. 三人都是英国历史上杰出的浪漫主义诗人。