时间：2022-09-15 11:44:34
Pollution is the price we pay for an over-populated and over-industrialized planet. But the only accessible way to deal with the trash we produce all day would be to dump it. Burning them will produce plenty of fumes which may pollute our air again. To turn it into something we can use again would cost a great deal of money which the parsimonious humans don’t like to pay,1 and the result would “ask for” more resource. Attempt to produce less? Don’t make2 this kind of illusion.
The faster the population grow3, the more resources are needed. You can cut down on producing the4 trash only when all people become vegetarian. If you understand those, it’ll be easy for you to know why “You are what you eat”.
Dating back to about 5 B.C., when the technology was undeveloped, the agriculture was limited to the manual work5. In order to produce6 more wheat and corn, farmers use excretion7 (what they produce after eating and drinking) to grow more vegetables or crops.8 This is the truth about the delicious food that our ancestors ate every day. So almost everyone would die of the9 bacteria sooner or later. The substance we made ourselves killed us at last, by the simple way of being eaten.10
In modern society, the11 industry is developing faster and faster. The requirement12 to produce everincreasing quantities of cheap food leads to a different kind of pollution. Human-beings add chemicals in13 pork, chicken and beef meat, causing mad cow or chicken disease14. The material goods15 drive everybody mad and people would use anything to produce cheap food. People own the knowledge about chemistry by eating variety16 foods with chemicals, such as pesticides or herbicides. The polluted foods threaten and overwhelm us. It’s not an overstatement to say that most of us constantly ingest poison every time we think we’re eating fresh salads and vegetables or we’re just having an “innocent” glass of water. Human beings alone produce and consume the poison.17 There is no doubt that food reflects our behavior.
We keep eating poison from ancient time to modern society, what do you think you are eating now?18 S
本文对“You’re what you eat”人如其食（西方谚语，指饮食可反映一个人性格与生活环境）这句谚语提出了自己的新见解，旨在控诉当前中国令人担忧的食品安全问题。文中连接词和过渡词稍欠丰富，内容基本连贯，但文章行文稍欠流畅，一些句子意思表述不够清晰。能使用一些结构简单的长句，句式变化多样，还运用了一些万能句型，像There is no doubt that…等。但是对定冠词the的使用还需要注意，动词搭配要更加贴近英语的表达习惯，尽量减少中式英语。S
1. To turn it into something we can use again其实就是废物利用（recycle）的意思。此句主语用不定式开头，显得头重脚轻，因此建议用it形式主语开头。此外，句中parsimonious一词表示“吝啬的”，比较生僻，建议改为miserly，mean等较为常见的词。整句话修改后为：It would cost a great deal of money for humans to recycle, who are too miserly to pay for it.
2. 动词搭配不当。make很少和illusion搭配，建议使用其他更常见的搭配，比如改为：Don’t get caught in this kind of illusion. 别产生这种错觉了。
3. 主谓一致问题。grow的主语是population，因此应该用grows。
4. 此处的trash是泛指，前面不需要用the。
5. 此句多处用到定冠词the，但实际上除了特殊的名词前、特指的名词以及上文提到过的词前需要加定冠词the之外，表示泛指的名词前不需要加the。technology、agriculture、manual work前面的the都应该去掉。
6. 动词搭配不当。作者想说“出产小麦和玉米”，用produce一词不太妥当，建议改为yield（出产）。
7. excretion（粪便）一词比较生僻，建议改为较常用的human waste。作者担心读者不明白词义，后面用括号加以注解，出发点是好的，但解释得不够清楚，可以删掉。
8. 这句话意思有点表述不清，作者想说“为了种更多小麦和玉米，农民们利用粪便来种更多蔬菜或庄稼。”可以改为：In order to yield more wheat and corn, farmers made use of their own wastes to help crops grow.
9. bacteria在这里也是泛指，前面的the要去掉。
10. 这句话是全段的结尾，建议开头加上In other words作为总结。此外，句子意思表述不够清楚。建议改为：In other words, we were killed by eating what we made.
11. 同理，industry前面的the去掉。
12. 用词不当。这里作者是想说现代社会人们对廉价食品的需求，而非requirement（要求），应改为need。
13. 短语搭配错误。在……中增加……，英语的表达是add…to…。
14. 疯牛病mad cow disease，禽流感bird flu。英语中没有chicken disease一说。
15. 表述不清。material goods是指什么？如果想说“人们对金钱的追求越来越疯狂”，可以修改为：Money drives everybody mad…。
16. 各种各样的，应该是varieties of。
17. 表述不清。作者是想说“人类自身既生产又食用这些毒药。”alone用得不好，可以改为：Human beings produce as well as consume the poison.
18. 此句为全文结尾，建议在开头加上关联词Therefore或者In a word之类以表示总结。From ancient time to modern society这一表述也不常见，建议改为：since ancient time…，简洁明了。