那个让我嫉妒的女孩

If I said I have never felt jealous of anyone， I would be lying. There have been times when I felt a tiny hint of jealousy toward some girls' luscious1） hair or someone's new computer， but the time I really felt envious was when I was about ten. Ever since I can remember， going to college has been my biggest goal. Going to college was a sure way to secure my future to be a successful person in life. But I knew I had to study hard and get good grades.

I come from a low-income family and every day is another day of hard work. My mom cleans houses for a living and whenever I can， I go help her. She cleans these grand houses， the ones that are on the edge of the beach. The first time I entered， I was blown away by everything. That house screamed money！ From that moment， I vowed I was going to do everything I could to live a comfortable life. And then， I met Olivia.

She is a couple years younger than me but at the start I knew she was a very active person. She was up in her room playing with her American Girl doll. I knocked timidly， telling her that my mom sent me up to tell her we were going to clean her room. She answered with a smile and told me that she would go to the game room to not bother us. When she left， I looked around her room and was astounded2） yet again. I probably looked like a dummy3） with my mouth wide open. The only thing I could see was bright pink and brown walls. There was only one bed with its own canopy4）. There was a huge closet and toys all over the room. It looked nothing like my room， which I had to share with my sister and there was barely any room for anything. When I finished gawking at5） her room， I went to find my mother. The girl popped up6） and asked me if I cared to join her tea party. She actually said those exact words. I stammered7） that I would have to ask my mother. I didn't know why but she made me feel intimidated8）. I ended up playing with her.

I learned a lot about Olivia. I learned that she was in the third grade. She had a lot of toys and really liked dogs. She had a younger brother who was at the park. But the thing that stuck was that she was taking some classes. She took ballet， art， singing， and flute. She had a lot of after-school activities， so she was a very busy girl. Her life was so different than mine. I mean， while I was doing homework and baby-sitting my younger sister， she was learning how to dance. She had so many opportunities.

Right then， I knew I was jealous. Not of her personally， but of what she had. She had everything any person could want and more. But it was deeper than that. For me， trying to get into a four-year university was my goal and a full-time job. Anything lower than that would be a failure so I always have to be focused and determined. For her it seemed more of a requirement and didn't need a lot of effort. While I was struggling to understand math by myself， she could hire a private tutor to help her. Her world contained so many opportunities. What I really was jealous of was that some people have it easy compared to others.

Now， whenever I'm thinking of that house on the shore of Malibu， I remember my goals and try to never stray off the path I'm making. Every grade and every extracurricular activity I do is a step closer to college and hopefully one day I too will have my dream house.

如果我说我从来没嫉妒过任何人，那我是在撒谎。曾经有几次，我对某些女孩的漂亮头发或者某人的新电脑有那么一丝嫉妒，但是我真正感到嫉妒别人是在我大概十岁的时候。从我记事起，上大学便一直是我最大的目标。上大学是确保我在未来人生中获得成功的一种可靠的办法。但是当时我知道我必须努力学习、考高分才行。

我来自一个低收入家庭，每一天都意味着又一天的辛苦工作。我妈妈靠给人打扫房子谋生，不管什么时候，只要我能帮忙，我都去帮她。她打扫的都是些豪宅，就是建在海边的那种。我第一次进去的时候，就被眼前的一切惊呆了。那房子真奢华！从那一刻起，我就发誓我要竭尽全力过上舒适的生活。之后，我遇见了奥利维娅。

她比我小几岁，但是一开始我就觉得她是个非常活泼的女孩。当时她正在楼上的房间里玩她的“美国女孩”玩偶。我小心翼翼地敲开门，告诉她我妈妈让我来跟她说我们要打扫她的房间了。她冲我微微一笑，告诉我她会去游戏室待会儿，不会打扰我们。她离开后，我环顾她的房间，再次感到震惊。那时的我嘴张得老大，可能看上去就像个傻瓜一样。我满眼都是亮粉色和棕色的墙。房间里只有一张床，还带着天篷，还有个巨大的衣柜和满屋子的玩具。这和我的房间一点都不像，我要和妹妹住一个房间，而且房间里几乎没有地方放任何东西。我目瞪口呆地看完她的房间，就去找妈妈。奥利维娅突然出现在我面前，问我是否愿意和她一起享用下午茶。她确实就是这么说的。我结结巴巴地说我得问一下我妈妈。不知道为什么，她让我感觉害怕。不过最终我还是跟她玩了起来。

我了解了很多关于奥利维娅的事。我得知她上三年级。她有很多玩具，而且非常喜欢狗。她有一个弟弟，当时在公园。但是让我印象深刻的是她在上一些课程。她学芭蕾，学美术，学唱歌，还学长笛。她参加很多课外活动，所以她非常忙碌。她的生活和我的生活是如此不同。我是说，当我在写作业、照顾妹妹的时候，她却在学跳舞。她拥有那么多的机会。

就在那时，我知道我嫉妒了。并不是嫉妒她个人，而是嫉妒她所拥有的。她拥有任何人想要的一切，甚至还要更多。但是，我嫉妒的还不止这些。对我来说，努力考入一所四年制的大学是我的目标，也是我要用全部时间去做的一件事。任何低于这个预期目标的结果都是失败，所以我必须一直精力集中，意志坚定。而对她来说，上大学更像是一个小小的要求，不需要十分努力。当我在为弄懂数学题孤军奋战的时候，她却可以雇个家教来辅导她。她的世界里充满了那么多的机会。我真正嫉妒的是一些人能比别人轻松地得到这样的机会。

如今无论何时，一想起马里布海岸的那座房子，我就会记起我的目标，尽力不让自己偏离这条一直在追寻的道路。我得到的每一个分数和我参与的每一项课外活动都让我离大学更近一步。但愿有一天，我也能拥有自己梦想的房子。

luscious [?l???s] adj. 美丽的；非常吸引人的；富有魅力的

astounded [??sta?nd?d] adj. 感到震惊的

dummy [?d?mi] n. [俗]傻瓜；笨蛋

canopy [?k?n?pi] n. 华盖；天篷

gawk at： （惊奇地张口）发呆地看着

pop up： 突然出现

stammer [?st?m?（r）] vt. 结结巴巴地说

intimidated [?n?t?m?de?t?d] adj. 感到害怕的；恐惧的