时间：2022-03-21 12:22:24
Someone once said, life itself is anything but a quiet desperation; people make it so. I will add, and they could do nothing with it, even if they know that the desperate, day-to-day life exerts an inordinate influence on who they will become, just sitting there, questioning the questions, “What am I doing? What am I thinking? What will I do for my life and future?” It is like taking the soul out of a fleshly envelope, sorting out it carefully, sealing it into a jar and putting it away from you. And what you are left is nothing but the walking dead, the dreadful bewilderment, and the great feeling of a betrayal. A betrayal to life, to your happiness, to your identity, and may be even to the world.
And time will pass by before finally you find that life is not the same anymore; you are not the same anymore.
And time will pass by before finally you recognize how many promises you have failed to keep.
And time will pass by before finally you turn out what a man you have hated just idling away, indulging in the illusions.
Here is a story about how that can go. It is a story about my romantic conflict with Mr. Laziness.
When I was young, I was suddenly encountered with a man of being learned in magical arts I had never known. Mr. Laziness, as it were, simply waved his wand and created such a seemingly pleasure enjoyment as being beneath the bedclothes till noon, or avoiding practicing the monotonous piano pieces over and over again.
Well, between the time, trick of Mr. Laziness have been eventually exhausted with the result of not satisfying my real need. And bad habits set out impelling him to upset my decisions from time to time. He summoned lassitude, one of his pawns, to hold me back from being punctual for class; impeded my progress in academic achievement; ignited “World War” among my family members when I happen to leave some household chores undone; and, more than that, lulled my will for hope, responsibility and faith.
So life for me is completely a mess, like headless chickens running with no direction, and also, no results; a never ending emptiness, like a pond of stagnant water without ripples of light. All that I actually want to do, yet it is the only thing I can do, is to cry, for a sense of alienation, meaninglessness and insignificance in the world.
Many a time have I been brought by Mr. Laziness to such a terrible dream? In a world floating with colorful bubbles, green grass is losing itself in a distance, soft waters murmuring along its ribbon of bank, all living creatures are bathing in the shining sunlight. Relationships between me and Mr. Laziness are completely a harmonious relaxation. Immediately, the sky is plunged into total darkness, casting the world into a grey-colored Christmas card. Breathless with terror, escaping is the only thing that pops into my mind. I struggle to take a step only to find a bleached foot, dotted with black and blue, the color of a corpse. Subconsciously, a panic scream squeezes from my husky vocal cords. No responding. My eyes start to search for the living green, and ears for the river’s murmuring. But nothing. Rolling graves covered with withered grass tower above the dried-up river, unearthly sight extending as far as the eye can see. Once again, I swing my arms with full steam ahead; attempting to flee from the terrified and dignified scene, yet my whole body starts falling, sinking and being stuck into the swamp. The harder I struggle free, the deeper I sink in, until the watery mud submerges my chest. I am now like a fish out of water gasping for air, almost choking to death, which is the first time that I sense the approximation of death, despairing death.
And thus I get to know: flowers blossom, yet fades; stars dazzle, yet fall; bubbles foam, yet burst. Borderline between the loving and hating of Mr. Laziness is often narrow. Also space between birth and death is but an hour. All things, great or worst, will come to an end. Be it weeks, months or years, you will finally take time to get over it. You will finally take time to adjust to a new reality. Because people expected you to be, and because the sealed-up soul motivated you to be.
Rather than perishing in the control of Mr. Laziness, letting days and months slip away, and spending my life in fruitless efforts, I make a resolution to fight a decisive battle. The first thing I forced myself to do was setting up a detailed list of the maximum daily work I could finish to enrich my life. After several weeks of persistence, ambition in me awakened my potentials and stimulated me to exert my willpower on procrastination. I set a deadline for every task and carried out my plan as strict as a harsh engineer. In this way, such a romantic conflict relationship with Mr. Laziness was brought to a conclusion in the triumph of my aspirant soul: I was honorably elected be a member of the first-rate high school in my town, successfully find the direction of life, and unhesitatingly keep on exploring the new part of the world.
Well for now, my little story make it sound easy that everything will be alright if only you would still cherish an inspired soul, indomitable will-power, and unswerving resolution.
In fact, it is easy for every one of us to be confused and lost in a smooth but impetuous era today. Lost to the world of filling with fast consumption goods, network buzzwords and never-to-go-out services; lost to our human nature of being lazy, having no idea of what to be next in the so many choices. The society is so convenient that we’re too vulnerable to stand competition and difficulties. Maybe nestling in the arms of your Mr. Laziness is a magic weapon for the deceptively relaxation, pleasure, ease and comfort. But how come laziness so powerful makes our young this week? Spiritual emptiness.
Laziness is such a horrible man. He seems too attractive, too kind for you to trust. We seem to have so many feelings after associating with him, but they all have one thing in common: emptiness. Don’t ever fall into his embrace. Don’t ever surrender to the pleasure and enjoyment of him. Stick to your spiritual authenticity, and struggle for life, for your identity, and for your value.
Looking back on time spent and promises made during our life journey, we always have numerous regrets and pity. Perhaps the most reliable warmth we can get is to live in the moment. All our young generation has been set on the journey to the twilight years, quiet desperation or passionate dancing, a way we cannot turn back, because a slight change will have an influence on our destination. What we should do now, is to do something that will add values to who we are, do something that will be an investment in who we might want to be next, become witty and shoulder responsibility.
作者简介：杨若涵(2000.2-)，青岛经济技术开发区第一中学，高二、11班。