突破舒适区,活出真自我

My whole career exists outside my comfort zone. I realize that most teens are self conscious[自我意识] to a point that they generally don’t want to attract attention to themselves. I was painfully self conscious and unconfident， to the point where I refused to complete any assignment in which I was required to stand in front of the class and speak. For these assignments， I simply took a zero. I was a GOOD student， graduating 11th in my class， so it’s not as though a zero grade was an easy choice， but it was far less painful than the alternative[可选择的].

Like many students， during my first few years of college I jumped around from one science major to another， not ever feeling like my choice was THE RIGHT ONE. I actually became so LOST that I left college all together until I could find some direction. In that time， I met and married my wife. While she already had a bachelor’s degree[学士学位]， she decided to go back to get her master’s and become a teacher. At night， as she would work on her mock[模拟的] lessons， I would sometimes help her out. I found the process of finding novel[新颖的] ways to present lessons fairly easy and very appealing[诱人的]. It dawned[逐渐明白] on me that my calling was to be a teacher. Oh， wait. Do you think I would need to stand in front of a group of people and speak in that career？

The intense irony[讽刺] did not escape me. Now that I had a direction， it was time to restart my college education. One of my first classes had to be Public Speaking. I knew that if I couldn’t get through that， there was no way I could be a teacher. Yes， I was older， but the idea of speaking still filled me with as much dread[恐惧] as ever. For each of my assignments， I would practice the speech over and over. I would record it and listen to it in my car as I drove around. I would give the speech in front of a mirror. In retrospect[回顾过往]， I now believe that my greatest fear was that my audience would perceive[认为] me as not knowing what I was talking about. My nerves would cause my head to swirl[打旋]， making it difficult to hold my train of thought. I would surely soon get lost， and then stumble[（说话）出错] and bumble[语无伦次] along desperately trying to recover the remainder of the time. I think it all stems from a traumatic[有创伤的] experience I had in second grade where I was thrust[挤] upon the school stage as a class project without actually knowing my lines. Painful is an understatement[轻描淡写的陈述]. Absolute nightmare， from which I can’t seem to wake up is more apt[恰当].

To this day， before every single class I teach， I need to prepare myself. I need to feel I know the material solidly[稳稳地] because much of my effort will be used controlling my nerves and maintaining focus and clarity[清晰] in every word choice. You would think that after well more than 10，000 public speaking engagements， I would not even notice that what I was doing was public speaking. I do notice―every time. I operate outside my comfort zone nearly every day. Having made it through the least comfortable of all of my uncomfortables， I find it much easier to stretch[尽力使用] myself for an hour， a day， or a week. And my life is richer because of it.

我的职业完全不在自己的舒适区内。我发现很多年轻人容易自我意识过剩，以致于他们常常不愿意引人注目。我过去也饱受自我意识的困扰，非常不自信，任何要求我站在全班同学面前讲话的作业都无法完成。我在这类作业上只能拿零分。我当年可是个好学生，以全班第11名的成绩毕业，所以拿零分（对我来说）并不是什么好受的事情――但零分远远比当众发言要好受多了。

和许多学生一样，我在大学的前几年在理科专业之间跳来跳去，一直觉得自己的选择并不是理想方向。事实上，我实在太迷茫了，后来干脆休学，（打算）找到目标再回去念书。就在那个时候，我邂逅了我的妻子，我们结婚了。尽管我的妻子已经取得学士学位，她还是决定返校进修，拿到硕士学位，将来当名老师。她在夜里为模拟教学备课时，我有时也会帮帮忙。我发现用新颖方式讲课这个过程并不困难，而且非常引人入胜。我渐渐意识到教学就是我的天职。喔，等等，你觉得这行需要站在一群人面前讲话吧？

我也注意到这种强烈的讽刺。既然我已经有了一个方向，是时候重新回到大学念书了。在最初的课程当中就有一门公共演讲。我知道，如果我不能通过这门课，我就甭想当上老师。没错，我已经是个大人了，但我依然和小时候一样对发言充满恐惧。为完成每一份作业，我总要对讲话内容不断进行练习。我会把它录下来，在开车的时候听听自己是怎么讲的。我会在镜子前面模拟演讲。现在回想起来，我当年最害怕听众会认为我并不知道自己在说什么。神经紧张会让我觉得头晕眼花，难以保持思路清晰。我很快就会不知所云，然后结结巴巴，语无伦次，拼命地想在剩下的时间里恢复过来。我想，所有这一切都源自我在二年级的一次痛苦经历：我被迫走上学校讲台一个班级项目，事实上，我当时并不知道自己该讲些什么。“痛苦”实在是太轻描淡写了――更确切的说法是，那完全是一场噩梦，而我一直无法从梦中醒来。

时至今日，在上每一堂课之前，我依然要备课。我需要这种对教学材料牢牢掌握的感觉，因为我会将主要精力用于控制紧张情绪，保持注意力，以及保证自己说的每一个字都清晰可闻。你大概会认为，我在经历了超过一万场公开演讲之后就不会在意自己正在当众讲话这件事――其实我很在意，每一场都是。每一天，我几乎都在舒适区以外工作。在让我不舒服的事情当中，我成功熬过了最难受的一关，而且发现自己要坚持下来也容易多了，从忍耐一小时到坚持一天，乃至一星期。也正因如此，我的人生变得更加充实丰富了。